Coming to Terms
by Kazlene la Suicine
Summary: CC is at "The Place." During this time, CC and Niles must learn to come to terms with their repressed emotions in order to move forward.
1. Admittance

Niles sat in the beige chair beside the empty dark brown couch. He glanced around the room. A large mahoghany door seperated him from a screaming woman in the other room. His eyes darted around the room. Only a few amateur paintings of brightly colored paintings hung on the white walls. The floor was an off-white color. Despite the attempted warmth that the room provides, Niles couldn't help feeling as if he would grow mad being in the room any longer.

The mahoghany door opened. A regal woman with short dark grey hair entered the room. She had a beak shaped nose and high cheek bones that looked as if they were protruding out of her skin. She took a seat on the empty couch. "Sorry, it's taking so long," she said smoothing out her black skirt, "I'm Dr. Bort, Miss Babcock's therapist."

"How is she?" Niles asked stiffening in his chair. He looked down at his feet as Dr. Bort flipped through a few pages of her binder.

"She's...well, not the best I've ever seen her," She replied watching Nile's eyes carefully. "I couldn't interrogate her before due to her mental condition. Since you are the closest person to her, do you mind answering a few questions?" Niles grimaced as he recalled CC's blank stare and calling him her "grandmama." He nodded as Dr. Bort pulled out a notepad filled with lined yellow paper from the pocket of her black binder.

"Yes, of course," he finally replied swallowing. He noticed the four cameras in the corners of the room. He felt a bit more nervous as he felt an added pressure. He looked back at Dr. Bort whose brown eyes seemed to be reading him as if he was a book.

"Has she been abusing alcohol or any other drugs?" Dr. Bort asked. Niles smirked as he wondered if Dr. Bort knew anything about her patient. CC should have been admitted to rehab a long time ago.

"She's always been a heavy drinker," he replied hoping the humor wasn't evident in his tone.

Dr. Bort nodded as her pen glided across the lined page. "More than usual?" she asked without looking up from her small handwriting.

"Yes, I think so," he replied closing his eyes as he tried to recall how much alcohol CC drank. She wasn't known for barging into the kitchen and demanding that Niles make her a drink for obvious reasons, but she had snuck into the wine cellar. He had been picking her up from bars more often, and she carried a small flask in her purse. "I know she drinks a lot at home," he replied remembering the bottles of liquor in CC's apartment. He doubted that she drank anything else.

"Alright," Dr. Bort said coolly, "do you know if she intentionally physically harmed herself in any way?" Niles's head jerked up. The idea of CC taking a knife to her smooth alabaster skin made him want to vomit. He shook his head wondering if that was the reason that CC wore long sleeves no matter the weather. He assumed that she couldn't find any other professional attire after her weight gain, but now he wasn't so sure.

"No matter, she has to have a physical examination so the nurses will inform me of any unusual scars or markings," Dr. Bort continued. After a thorough questioning of CC's behavior and mood changes, Niles wondered if he ever knew the really CC Babcock. He wondered if she was a self-destructive woman that no one ever heard her plea for help. He suddenly had all sorts of questions about her and her unhealthy obsession for Maxwell Sheffield.

"Dr. Bort, why is she here?" he finally asked trying to remain confident. He cleared his throat while the therapist looked at him expectantly through her wire rimmed glasses. "I mean why did she go crazy?"

She sighed and closed her binder. A soft sympathetic smile played on her thin lips. "Niles, she hasn't come to her therapy sessions in two months. I can only speculate. Do you know of anything that might have triggered this reaction?" She crossed her arms as she awaited an answer.

"Miss Fine and Mr. Sheffield are engaged," he replied. He could have sworn he saw a flash of light in Dr. Bort's eyes.

"Thank you, Niles," she said coolly. "Do you think you can come here Thursday at three?" She a rose from her chair while Niles released a yawn.

"I believe so," he answered hesistantly.

"Very well, I will see you then," she replied. The two left the room. Niles halted when he saw a woman with long blonde hair and deep blue eyes following a man in a lab coat. He took a deep breath before going in the opposite direction. Dr. Bort sighed as she closed the door behind her. "I'm surprised he's handling this as well as he is," she muttered under her breath.


	2. The Other Side of the Door

Fran, wearing a fluffy yellow robe, flounced to the kitchen table. Her diamond sparkled in the light and reflected on the metal spoon. "Oh Niles," she crooned as she down in front of a white bowl filled with chocolate ice cream, "can you believe I'm finally getting married?" She dug the silver spoon into the frozen dessert as she searched for her reflection in the diamond ring.

Niles chuckled as the water from the faucet poured onto a white plate with bits of lasagna still attached onto the surface. "I just can't believe it took this long," he countered attempting to be excited for the couple, but it wasn't the same unless he had CC Babcock to torture. He placed the rinsed dish into the bottom rack of the dishwasher and another lasagna encrusted plate under the faucet. As he turned the plate around, water splashed onto his blue apron.

"Anyways, how long do you think Miss Babcock will be gone?" Fran asked before scooping another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"I haven't the slightest idea," he responded as the water began to drip from the sink. He pushed in the bottom rack of the dishwasher and closed the dishwasher door. He hung up his blue apron on the rack and released a heavy sigh. "However, Dr. Bort wants me to go...there tommorow unless those demonic thoughts killed all the doctors in there." He gave a soft smile before taking a seat next to Fran.

"Wanna' know something kinda funny?" Fran asked earning Niles's full attention. His pale blue eyes met her soft brown as if he knew she was going to say something earth shattering. "Miss Babcock was constantly by your side when you had the heart attack, and you're doin' the same thing for her. It's kinda' sweet. Goodnight, Niles." She stifled a presumably large yawn before rising out of her chair. Like a giant yellow bird, she flew upstairs leaving Niles alone with his thought and an empty bowl of ice cream.

* * *

><p>Niles sat in a plastic blue chair in an empty room. There were no paintings on the white walls but a large white board with a few colored dry erase markers. There was a large window seperating him from the man with disheveled black hair in a hospital gown taking medication in a small plastic cup from a frightened nurse. He sighed wondering when Dr. Bort was going to arrive. He glanced at the red plastic chair in front of him then at the stacks of colorful plastic chairs in the corner. He felt as if he was going mad by being in the room.<p>

Finally, Dr. Bort, with her black three inch binder in hand, entered the room. Her grey vest and skirt almost seemed black from the poor lighting. "Thank you for coming," she said sitting down in the red plastic chair. She pulled out a yellow notepad and a black pen from one of the pocket of the binder. She flipped through the yellow lined pages of the notepad. "Anyways, I was going over my notes of my therapy sessions with Miss Babcock, and there is not much written down about Maxwell Sheffield."

Niles furrowed his brow in confusion. He couldn't pinpoint why, but he felt a small twinge of pleasure that Maxwell's name wasn't in the pages of the notepad; however, he failed to see why that was significant. "Well, that's good. She doesn't need two men torturing her," Niles smirked although the zinger on his tongue failed to leave his mouth. He realized nothing nice about him could be said in those pages either which made the victory hollow.

"Niles, you don't understand, "Dr. Bort said patting the notepad, "I've been her therapist for years, and she's only mentioned him as an credit-stealing business partner." She noticed the butler's fist clench and his jaw tighten. "Don't you think if she loved him and was upset about his engagement for love, his name would have been mentioned a lot more?"

"What about Miss Fine?" Niles asked curious to see if CC Babcock really loathed the nasally brunette's existence.

"Well, yes, she has gone into depths about why she detests the woman, but not any reason involving Mr. Sheffield; therefore, I believe the engagement triggered a mental breakdown for other reasons," Dr. Bort explained calmly noticing Nile's blue eyes flickering. She flipped to a blank page and clicked the top of her pen.

"So why did you ask me here?" he asked his eyes narrowing.

"I also believe that there are many conflicting ideas in her head," Dr. Bort replied casually skimming through the yellow pad , "that leave her in a stalemate when making a decision. Unable to come to terms with her emotions and desires, she bottles everything up which caused her mental breakdown. Somehow, you are a key player in her treatment."

Niles scowled as he reflected on the complicated relationship he and Miss Babcock shared. They had both vocalized their hatred for one another. He even left her in a malfunctioned wheelchair. Most of her physical injuries was caused by him. All their fights and insults were traced with cherished memories. He missed watching Spanish soap operas when they should've been working, and he missed the lingering aroma of Chanel #5 when she left the room. "I've never been any help to her before," he said pensively.

"Because I have extensive notes of how you affect her," she mused patting the notepad. "Clearly, you have some power over her mental health. You could use this power for the greater good."

Niles scoffed. No wonder, CC was in this place. Her therapist was a loon herself. He stood up ignoring how dry his throat felt, "Look, I would only be a disturbance to her sanity, and she would agree with me if she were in this room. I'm sorry, but I can't help you." His chest heaved as he balled his hands into fists while Dr. Bort stared at him expectantly.

"Niles," she said calmly, "do you really believe she would blame you, or are you feeling guilty for the way you have been treating her?" Niles's jaw was slack although his gaze was heavy. Dr. Bort scribbled something onto her notepad as if she was observing him.

"She would blame me," he replied callously. He decided that the therapist knew nothing of their relationship. Just like he blamed CC for his heart attack, she would justiably blame him for her visit to the mental institution.

Niles,prepared to get away from the psychologist, walked over to the door. His hand lightly touched the door handle on the wooden door. "Wait!" he heard Dr. Bort call. He looked over his shoulder at the tall woman still sitting in the small red chair.

"What is it?" he asked impatiently, "I have dinner to make."

"I was going to suggest you pay Miss Babcock a visit. Her room is down the hall, room 317," Dr. Bort replied with a soft knowing smile. Niles nodded as he slipped through the door.

He walked down the long narrow hall. His eyes locked on the doors on the left. With each passing door, he felt the urge to turn back. It wasn't as if CC would know. "Stop being a coward," he told himself knowing very well he was not in an environment where he should be talking to himself. 313...315...finally, he arrived at CC's door. The large door was closed, and he was terrified to discover what was on the other side of the door.

CC's room was simple and practically bare except for the two bed, a bedside table, and two sets of drawers. There were bars covering the windows and a dent in the white walls. Even the crisp linen sheets seemd invisible on the neatly made empty bed. His eyes landed on CC's sleeping figure on the bed near the window. Her loose blonde hair was sprawled over her face. She had kicked the sheets and the pale blue blankets on the floor. Niles's heart began to pound when he saw tiny red marks on her arms. He bent down beside her and hoped that she wouldn't wake up while he was present.

"Listen, CC 'Godzilla' Babcock. You're an incredibly strong woman, you've got to beat this...this...thing," he said under his breath as he wished he could see the spark in her eyes from their banter. "I guess it was bound to happen. You needed a straightjacket to feel a man's arms around you," he said with a sympathetic smile although he automatically regretted his words. "I miss you."

When the crouched figure finally stood up, he noticed Dr. Bort leaning against the door frame. "Fine, I'll do it," he said keeping his eyes on CC's sleeping figure.

"Excellent," she answered, "be here next week same time, same place." He nodded curtfully before he hesistantly left CC's side. He closed the door behind him with a hope that he made the right decision.


	3. Inquiring Minds

CC sat up in her bed. She slowly blinked as if blinking would change her surroundings. She was in a twin sized bed with a stiff matress, and she found it difficult to believe that she could sleep in such a condition. She looked down at herself. She had never worn such an oversized sweatshirt or grey sweatpants. She belonged in a business suit. She didn't even know where she was to begin with; however, she vaguely recalled being prodded with needles and being interrogated by tall figures in lab coats, but she assumed that those visions came out of some nightmare. She glanced at her arm. Noticing the red marks on her arms, she closed her eyes in shame, but she couldn't resist brushing her fingertips against the scabs. She heard a soft knock on the door. Realizing she was not dressed to have visitors present, she groaned and began scouring the dresser drawers for something suitable to wear. A friendly feminine voice rang, "Miss Babcock, may I come in?"

"In a moment," she answered as she frantically searched through the metal drawers. She had her undergarments, sweat pants, a gigantic grey sweatshirt, and t-shirts, but she didn't have a business suit or even a nice skirt. She shook her head as she thought that she should have something presentable to wear. "Erm...come in," she finally said.

A young nuse with a clipboard, who was wearing pink scrubs, entered the room. Her long sandy blonde hair was tied into a messy bun, and she seemed almost too sunny for her environment. "How are you feeling, Miss Babcock?" the nurse asked gently as if CC Babcock was a fragile human being.

"I'm fine considering I have no idea what day of the week it is," CC replied curtly. She wondered if she should be polite to the nurse especially since CC lacked information about her own whereabouts. She wanted, no needed, answers desperately especially if she needed to get revenge on a certain butler.

The nurse smiled at the patient. "It must be hard on you. You've been asleep for the majority of your time here, but don't worry. The first week is always the hardest."

"Oh God, I'm dead. Aren't I?" CC asked looking up at the chalk white ceiling while the nurse giggled.

"No, no, not at all," the nurse reassuringly. She sighed unsure how to proceed this discussion. "Well, your tests came back, and your vitals look good; however, we are going to set you up with one of our 'healthy eating programs' and our excercise regiment."

CC scowled as she pondered if she was in one of Nile's horrific elaborate pranks or if she was in a health spa. Perhaps, Niles sent her to a health spa, but that didn't make sense. Finally, she decided to ask someone to help her, but the peppy nurse was out of the question. "Alright," she replied noticing a black folder on her bedside table. Her full name was written on the white label, and she thought it would contain some answers.

She grabbed the folder off the table. She opened it and found a schedule, policies, and a lunch menu in one of the side pockets and a composistion notebook and a pen in the other pocket. She slid out the paper with the schedule hoping that it would at least say where she was. She noticed she had group therapy three times a day, scheduled meal times, wellness area availibility, and medicine schedules. "What the hell?" she muttered under her breath as she ran a hand through her long blonde hair.

She followed the nurse down the hall and into the lobby of the ward. She noticed Dr. Bort, clad in a pinstripe pencil skirt and blazer, talking to a tall man with greying hair in a labcoat. She mustered her usual CC Babcock confidence and approached her therapist as if she was going to "correct" a mediocre actor. "Dr. Bort, where the hell am I?" she demanded as stormed toward the regal woman. The male doctor gave her a fake smile while keeping his eyes on the female therapist.

"Oh Miss Babcock, it's good to see you awake," Dr. Bort replied shooing away the male doctor. The therapist led CC to a white bench in front of the nurses' station. "I'm sure you have many questions to ask me."

"I would like you to answer my first question," CC snarled. She was not intimidated by her therapist's beak-shaped nose or her protuding cheekbones. She needed to know where she was.

"You're in a mental institution," Dr. Bort replied reluctantly. CC's eyes bulged as she tried to stay composed not like it mattered how she behaved. Sure, she had too many drinks, ate to fill the void that only love could really fill, but that didn't make her crazy. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen Dr. Bort in a couple of months so the therapist couldn't have sent her here.

"Niles! He did this, didn't he?" she snapped as her blue eyes blazed with rage. She began rambling about how that miserble excuse for a man was going to curse the day he crossed CC Babcock. The nurses, watching the scene, cowered behind their station. One nurse kept her hand near the phone in case she needed to call security.

Dr. Bort finally interrupted the enraged woman. "Yes, he called me about your behavior, and that is why you are here."

"What?"

"When he called me, you were asking if Niles was your grandmama; therefore, it is in your best interest that you remain here."

CC pressed the back of her head to the wall and closed her eyes. She didn't remember even seeing her grandmama recently, but she also didn't believe she was in a mental institution. She supposed it was only a matter of time before she jumped off the deep end, but she hated that Niles was probably going to tease her endlessly about going crackers. She shuddered as she imagined him taunting her endlessly.

"So what now?" CC asked Dr. Bort.

"You are going to stay here until we can find a way to relieve whatever factors that are causing you so much anxiety," Dr. Bort replied calmly as if she had this conversation a million times. The therapist noticed the blonde woman trying desperately to figure out what her words meant in course of action.

"How long will it take?"

"As long as necessary."

"What about work?" CC asked almost whining. She wondered what Maxwell was going to do without her. She remembered when she temporarily quit, and the production company was jeopardized. Maxwell wouldn't be able to read all those scripts or shmooze the backers. Maybe, she could get some work done while she was...here, but she found that unlikely.

"I've already talked to Maxwell Sheffield," Dr. Bort replied calmly,"and you will still have a job when you return. You will not work here, and we both know you've been using work to hide from your emotional issues for far too long. This will be a good chance to work on yourself." The therapist got off the bench and brushed off her pinstripe skirt. "Well, I have to get to another appointment. Is there anything else you would like to ask me?"

CC replied "No" despite her wondering what her treatment consisted of and why she became delusional. She wondered if she was crazy at all and why she didn't remember coming to the institution. She needed something to make her feel better. She imagined people, reaking of bourbon, with glass eyes and unkempt hair in hospital gowns strolling through the halls. She felt extremely normal in comparison; however, that was a mere fantasy, but the idea would have to suffice until she had to deal with reality.


	4. Fallen Ambition

"I'm here to see Dr. Bort," Niles said as he stood in front of the nurse's station. A perky nurse, wearing bright pink scrubs, with sandy blonde hair tied in a pony tail handed him a plastic clipboard. The white sign-in sheet seemed vibrant against the brown clipboard. He quickly took out a pen and wrote down his name, the date, and initialed the respective slots. He handed the clipboard back to the nurse with a tight grin.

"Alright-y then," the nurse said glancing at a patient schedule to find an open room, "You can go to the room left of the nurses's station and take a seat. Dr. Bort is just finishing up her group therapy session."

Niles nodded and walked into the patient's recreation room. The white walls had brightly colored abstract paintings above a circular table in the corner of the square room. Health magazines were scattered on the table-top, and a few chairs surrounded the table. A large television was across the room from a floral patterned couch. A large glass window seperated the room from the hallway, and he could vaguely hear voices on the other side of the wall behind the floral couch. He sat down on the couch and fought the urge to eavesdrop. He quickly reminded himself that they were people instead of people he lived with.

Dr. Bort entered and closed the wooden door behind her. She pulled one of the chair from the table and placed it in front of Niles. She slipped into the chair and crossed her legs. "Hello Niles," she said opening up her black binder,"How are you doing today?" She pulled out a ballpoint pen and tapped it against her yellow notepad.

"I'm alright," he replied unsure if he was being completely honest. He had no one to tease or watch Spanish soap operas with. He could listen to Fran and her mother gossip or plan the wedding, but he would get a massive headache sooner than he'd admitt. All he had was the cleaning supplies that made the Sheffield home immaculate. Truthfully, he was miserable without CC Babcock.

"Good," Dr. Bort replied pursing her lips in a thin line,"as I've said, you're an important part of Miss Babcock's recovery so I'd like to ask you some questions."

"I'd be glad to," Niles replied leaning against the couch. His icy blue eyes flickering in excitement; however, he was unsure if he was excited to be able to help CC Babcock or answer questions about himself, which he seldom got to do.

"Alright, let's get this started," the therapist said, "So how long have you been working for Maxwell Sheffield?"

"Twenty-five years," he answered as the therapist jotted down notes. He looked out the large glass window and saw a familiar bigger woman in basket-ball shorts and a grey t-shirt. Her long hair was in a messy ponytail, and she was talking to a fit woman with tan skin and brown hair. He squinted as he wondered if the blonde woman was CC Babcock, but quickly redirected his attention to the therapist.

"Have you always wanted to be a butler?"

Niles scowled as if that was the most offending question. He never had the choice in the matter, but it was undignified to say otherwise. He was aware that if he was going to help CC's recovery that he needed to be completely honest. "No," he replied as the woman scribbled something on the notepad.

"Can you tell me how you became a butler?" she asked without looking up from the yellow lined paper.

Niles sighed as he contemplated his response. He had never discussed his fallen dreams at length with anyone. He made under-handed comments and griped about how much good an Oxford education brought him. He took a deep breath and responded, "My grandfather and father were butlers, but I wanted to become a barrister. My family didn't have enough money to send me to college so Maxwell's father, whom my father worked for, paid for my education, but I would be in Maxwell Sheffield's services as soon as he was married." Dr. Bort's pen glided across the paper as she rapidly recorded his answers and noted his tone and body language.

Niles leaned forward slightly in his seat. "If you don't mind me asking, how will this help Miss Babcock?" he inquired.

Dr. Bort looked up from her notepad. Her beak-shaped nose was directly in his line of vision. She laid her pen horizontally against the notepad and straightened her posture. "Miss Babcock's view of 'domestics' is defined by her parents. I believe this little interview would fix this misperception by showing you as a human," she replied.

Niles nodded as he wondered how CC saw him. Often, she insulted him by calling him a "domestic", and her insults revolved around his profession; however, she had seen him act like a gentleman. Unlike usual butlers, he wasn't stodgy and dull, he was full of life and snarky comments. He even escorted her to a big awards ceremony. Perhaps, that was what Dr. Bort meant by confliction ideas.

Interrupting his chain of thought, Dr. Bort asked, "Why do you still work for Mr. Sheffield?" She realized her question was too similiar to her previous question so she quickly clarified. "Why do you continue to work for him? Surely, Maxwell isn't completely dependent on your services."

Niles chuckled as he recalled Maxwell having difficulty with microwaving popcorn without his help. Even if he quit, Fran could help him microwave popcorn and clean. Even though he loved the Sheffields like his own family, he wasn't sure he stayed out of sheer loyalty. He closed his eyes as he tried to picture why he stayed as a butler. A blue-eyed blonde woman with a husky sultry laugh came to mind. A boyish grin formed on his face, and he replied, "If I left, there would be people that I wouldn't have the pleasure of seeing every day."

A knowing smile traced Dr. Bort's thin lips as she scribbled on the yellow paper. She placed the notepad in the binder pocket before she closed the binder. "Well, that's all for today. Can you come again next week?" she asked. Niles nodded as the woman stood up. He got off the couch and glanced out the large window.

"Is she doing better?" he asked before she walked over to the door. His blue eyes flickered with worry and concern.

"She's much better than the last time you saw her," she responded kindly. Niles nodded before he left the room. As long as CC was away from alcohol and her mother, she was safe. He was sure, as long as she was awake, she was doing better than the last time he saw her. Her progress was all that mattered now.

**A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers so far. I'm glad you like the story. Sorry, it took me forever to update. I tried to update last night, but my computer kept shutting down so I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	5. Differentiating Opinions

CC sat on her bed as she wished that she had a copy of the daily newspaper. She felt as if she might go crazy if she didn't have the Fine Arts section in her hands immediately. Unfortunately, the hospital staff was under strict orders from Dr. Bort to not give her the newspaper. CC was prohibited from any work-related activities, and apparently reading theatre reviews was strictly forbidden.

She couldn't stand the hospital staff. All the perky nurses, psychriatrists, and pyschologists mildly aggravated her. None of them knew her, and they had the audacity to ask if she felt like harming herself. Even the overly sweet "how are you feeling today?" made CC want to punch somebody in the face. To make matters worse, she was asked these questions repeatedly every single day. She could feel the anger make her blood boil every time she was asked how she ended up in a mental institution. She didn't even remember being admitted, but she kept calm in hopes that she would be released for good behavior. Luckily, her daily work-out schedule gave her an opportunity to release all her pent-up frustration. She had never been more grateful for an hour and a half away from all the annoying doctors.

She heard a soft knock at the door. "Come in," she called, not caring who entered the room. Dr. Bort, iron clad grey hair in a tight bun, entered the room. CC was envious of the therapist's grey suit. She missed her professional attire although she was perfectly comfortable in her bright yellow pajama pants and white sweat shirt. The therapist took a seat on the empty bed, and the patient slung her legs over the side of her bed and faced Dr. Bort.

"Miss Babcock," Dr. Bort said as she opened her black binder and pulled out her yellow notepad. "How are you feeling today?"

CC smirked and replied, "Like I may smack the next person who asks me that."

Dr. Bort softly laughed as if only CC Babcock would only make that comment. The therapist had expected the patient to grow impatient of the repeatedly asked question as most patients in the psych ward did. She merely said with hint of humor in her tone, "I'd refrain from any violent behavior unless you want more questions." She noticed a flicker of light in CC's deep blue eyes. "If you don't mind, I would like to ask you some more questions about your past."

"Sure, you and everyone else here. Why don't you call them in so I don't have to deal with more of the same damn thing," CC snapped. She hadn't meant to sound so annoyed, but she couldn't handle another question about her childhood. She met Dr. Bort's brown eyes. The therapist merely arched an eyebrow.

"Would you care to explain?" Dr. Bort asked in her usual calm unsurprised manner.

"Come on, you know they've asked me more questions about my personal life than Oprah. It's exhausting," CC explained obviously tired of the prodding of questions and needles.

"Don't worry, I won't ask you anything asked before," Dr. Bort replied reassuringly.

"Alright," CC resigned sitting up straighter.

Dr. Bort looked down at her scribbled question. She found it odd that the rest of their conversation depended on one question. She took a deep breath and asked, "What can you tell me about your grandmama?" She could have sworn she saw a flash of light in CC's eyes and her mouth tighten as if it was a tabboo subject.

CC closed her eyes. Visions of a woman in her mid-sixties with wispy greyish-blonde hair and a husky laugh filled CC's mind. Despite her grandmother's wealth, she wore colorful flannel shirt and jeans. Her skin was golden from spending many hours outdoors. She had taught CC and Noel how to ride and care for horses whenever CC's father took them to the manor to visit their grandparents. The children would rush to the stables to see their grandmother taking care of the majestic animals. The children spent hours playing with the horses and an old basset hound until their mother grew very angry with their grandmama, and their visits to their grandparents gradually came to a halt.

"My father used to take us to see my grandparents, but my grandfather was always working. Noel and I used to visit Grandmama while she was tending to the horses. I know my mother was very angry with her, and we eventually stopped going," CC replied cautiously. She remembered wanting to grow up in her grandparent's home. She hated the pressures of frilly dresses and saint-like behavior. She had never vocalized her desires in fear of her mother's wrath, but the hypothetical "what-if" question continued to pester her.

"Did your grandmother ever teach you any life lessons that you had never learned before?" Dr. Bort asked while continuing the write on the lined yellow paper. CC scowled. "I know it was a long time ago, but do you remember anything?"

CC tried to conjure up lost memories. The last time she saw her grandmama was at Christmas when she was eleven, and that was twenty-six years ago. Suddenly, CC recalled her grandmama explaining why she didn't have a cook or a maid. Her mother was in a conversation with her grandfather but was carefully watching the interaction between CC and her grandmother.

"I vaguely recall her saying that we all came from the same place, and a person must have their head so far up their own ass if they think they deserve another person to do the same damn thing they are capable of doing," CC said with a small smile. She didn't even notice Dr. Bort examining her relaxed posture and confidence reiterating her grandmother's ideas. The therapist quickly dotted down something in her notepad as she tried to figure out what to ask next.

"Did your mother say anything to you after that?" Dr. Bort asked.

"No."

"Did your mother behave any differently?"

"Yes," CC replied almost bitterly, " she became far more demanding and mean to the house staff, and she started shoving class differences down our throats." Noticing the theme in her answers, CC felt in the urge to run out of the room. She couldn't be sympathetic to people like _him_ or that nasally nanny. They made her life a nightmare every single day. She wasn't sure why Maxwell Sheffield kept them around. Now that he was marrying Nanny Fine, it was acceptable for the brunette,wearing short tight colorful skirts, strut into the office.

"What do you think?" Dr. Bort asked putting the emphasis on "you."

"What?"

"What do you think about having a nanny or a butler?" the therapist clarified.

CC mulled over the question. She lived alone in an apartment, and she was rarely home so she didn't need any help. After being around Fran, she would never have children because of women like her. Nanny Fine was kind, firm, and almost maternal; however, she prayed that the children didn't pick up her flashy or trashy style. Besides, she failed her job. She brought the children further into Maxwell's life where it interfered with work. Fran was simply not Mary Poppins.

She tried to imagine having a butler at her home. Niles's annoying boyish grin and revolting pale blue eyes burned an image in her head. Perhaps, a butler would only cause her anguish and mentally torture her from afar. The idea of a stuffy butler wasn't appealling either. He would be too dull and mundane for her taste.

"I don't know," she finally answered in almost a whisper. Dr. Bort nodded as she wrote on the notepad.

"Why are you even asking me these questions?" CC asked almost defensively.

"CC," Dr. Bort replied carefully choosing her words, "I know you have many past issues and you haven't exactly been successful in all the personal aspects of your life, but you are the toughest individual I ever met. With that being said, I know there had to be something major that pushed you to the breaking point."

The blonde woman nodded as the therapist got off the bed. She gracefully left the room leaving CC alone with her thoughts. She wondered why she felt so lonely. She never felt this terrible even fighting with Niles. Despite his hurtful comments, she thought she might feel better if he was around, but she remembered all the terrible things he did to her even after she tried to open up to him. Maybe it was better that he didn't see her like this.

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. Don't worry, you get to see more of CC's insecurities and issues as chapters progress. I should have another chapter up by Sunday. Thanks for reading so far!**


	6. Reflection

Niles rolled onto his side and looked neon green etched numbers on his alarm clock. He groaned as he realized he had five hours until he needed to be awake for work, and he hadn't gotten any sleep. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling that seemed blue from the lack of light in the room.

"Niles, old man," he said to himself, "what have you done?" The more time that passed since CC's admittance to the mental institution, the more he blamed himself for her spiralling into insanity. He couldn't blame himself for her childhood or her insecurities, but he managed to make everything worse. He was almost positive that Mr. Sheffield's to Fran Fine wouldn't have sent her to the loony bin if he hadn't rubbed it in his face.

He hated he was aware of her problems. He noticed the excessive drinking, weight gain, and the eye twitches. Her tone was solemn, and he felt as if he could visualize her plummetting into a pool of depression. He felt as if he never tried to help her. He felt as if their temporary alliance hurt her more than helped her. She was happier than he had seen her in a long time. He even enjoyed putting yogurt in Mr. Sheffield's fiance's shoes, but he abandoned her for Fran. He was sure returning to Fran's side ruined their time together. He wondered when was the last time CC had spent time with a friend or if she had a friend at all.

She did when she first started working for Maxwell Sheffield. She had long brown hair and thick rimmed glasses. She was only a secretary at the time, but she had more business knowledge than the producer. She and Sara spent time when Maxwell was away to chat. The two women were as close as sisters despite the contrast in behavior. Sara was soft, gentle, and demur like Cinderella. CC was the opposite: brash, sarcastic, but endearing nontheless.

CC and Niles were close friends at the time. Their banter was playful and innocent than it was currently. They sent electricity through the air as they tossed insults to one another like a game of catch. She mindlessly teased him about his crush on Katherine, and he tormented her about her lack of a social life. Eventually, Maxwell fired Katherine, and CC kept on teasing him about being a butler. He took for granted that she was sympathetic about his lost love, and she tried being there for him even if it was just helping him with the dishes.

After Sara died, CC did whatever she could to take the pressure of Maxwell. She quickly stepped into the role as a business woman. She dyed her hair blonde and cut it short for a colder, more professional appearance. She became icy and ruthless as if Sara's death was the death of the softer side of CC Babcock. Although Niles admired how quickly she stepped up to the demands of a producer, he felt as if he lost his best friend. Their banter became more scathing, and the two became enemies.

He wondered how she dealt with his pranks, his insults, a few bad relationships, and general personal issues all by herself. He wished he had noticed her desperation that night in Vegas. He wished he hadn't pulled that nasty trick when he woke up in the hospital or any of the countless pranks that resulted in her injured. They could have maybe rebuilt their friendship. Niles fell asleep wondering if his cruelty caused her to hurt herself.

* * *

><p>CC's eyes drifted toward the barred window. The sky was pitch black and contrasted the neon sighns of the bars nearby. She wondered what time it was, although she would take a nap later to catch up on missed sleep. She sighed as she remembered what caused her to wake up from her sleep. She dreamt that her mother was screaming at her for being a "pathetic excuse for a Babcock." Surely, her mother didn't yell at her for being unmarried, childless, and having a successful career.<p>

She decided the best course of action was to write down her thoughts. She had heard in group therapy that journalling was healthy or something of that nature. She slipped out of the linen sheets and turned on the light. She grabbed the composistion book and pen off her bedside table. "Here goes nothing," she muttered as she proceeded to write down her thoughts.

_Tonight, I had a dream that my mother was yelling at me (very un-Babcock-esque if I do say so myself). I figured it wasn't because I'm in my late thirties and unmarried. Well, technically, I'm married to my career which is a continual dissappointment to her. Clearly, it's a dream so I need to examine my self-conscience. The only thing I can think of is that damn butler that loves to destroy any peaceful thought in my brain. I would die a happy woman if I could get that rich baritone voice and revolting pale blue eyes out of my head._

_Unfortunately for me, he's the only person who knows my insecurites and loves to use them against me. He's this cruel vocalization of every bad thought I have about myself. In all his schemes that involve me, he is ruthless and devious. I don't know why I've bothered to reach out to him so many times. It isn't like that he would help me. That would involve caring about me, and no one wants to do that._

_The funny thing is we used to be friends. I thought we regained that during an alliance against Fran, but it was only temporary. Of course, he ditched me for that nasally floozy. They're tweedle-dumb and tweedle-I- do-other-people' world revolves around Nanny Fine and her short skirts. Forget that Niles and I were ever friends at all._

_To make it worse, I've tried to reach out to him and regain our friendship. I used to ignore his callous insults until I couldn't stand it any longer. That's when I remembered bantering was "our thing" so I began retorting. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and that someone has slipped on his waxy floors and polished couches more times than I can count. Of course, all chances of returning to normalcy was sent to hell after a drunken kiss two years ago, but I still tried. I was incredibly nice to him after he woke up from his heart attack, and he pulled such a cruel prank. I don't even know why I bother to care. Sometimes, I really want to scream at him and show him how bad he hurts me, but he'd only use it against me._

With that, she closed the composistion book and placed it on her bedside table. She turned off the light and crawled back into bed. She crawled under the covers and drifted into a peaceful slumber.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. I'm kinda unsure how I feel about the journal entry, but that shows I haven't written one in awhile. Anyways, I'll update as soon as I can. **


	7. A Fine Friendship

**A/N: So thank you all for the reviews, you are amazing. Anyways, CC and Niles will meet next chapter. I was going to have it in two, but I just decided to make this chapter extra long. So please enjoy.**

"Hello, Dr. Bort," Niles said as he stepped into the patient recreation area. He closed the door behind him before he took his seat on the floral patterned couch. "I apologize for my tardiness. Mr. Sheffield wanted me to deliver a contract on my way over here."

"I understand," Dr. Bort answered brushing lint off her shoulder. Her extra wide shoulder pads under her black blazer made her look like a vulture. Her beak shaped nose and beady eyes glared at Niles as if he was a dead rodent. Her appearance would have frightened most other people, but he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He was reminded of a zinger he used on Miss Babcock a few years ago.

She opened her black binder and pulled out her yellow notepad. She tapped her pen against the yellow pages before she wrote the date in the left hand corner. "Alright, Niles, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your initial relationship between you and Miss Babcock. Can you do that for me?"

He swallowed before nodding. Although he was perfectly able to keep his composure under the most stressful circumstances, he felt as if his emotions would be completely evident. The disintegration of their friendship constantly bothered him, and he had only himself to blame. He tormented her constantly when she was only trying to keep Sheffield productions running. He knew that he needed to answer the questions in order to be of any help to CC Babcock. "Okay," he finally said in almost a whisper.

"Okay, when did you first meet CC Babcock?" Dr. Bort asked.

"Sara and Mr. Sheffield's wedding. She was one of the bridesmaids," he replied. He remembered being a groomsmen and looking at the young woman across from him. Her brown hair was in a bun, and he couldn't help noticing the pale blue dress brought out her eyes. Her brown hair and glasses contrasted the blonde bridesmaids that were searching for their future husbands in the church pews. CC looked completely content watching the ceremony as if it was a movie.

Dr. Bort quickly wrote down his response and asked, "and what did you think of her?"

Although he wanted to admit how beautiful she was at the time, he merely replied, "She was just different than the other bridesmaids." The therapist muttered something under her breath as she jotted down his answer.

"When did you get to know her?" she asked.

"When she began working as Mr. Sheffield's secretary," he replied with a faint smile. He wanted to add that she was his best friend, but the words refused to form in his mouth.

"And how did you behave around one another?"

"Witty repoirtee," he answered as if the answer was obvious.

"Same as currently?"

"Absoloutely not," he responded defensively. "It was more playful and innocent because we were friends." He closed his eyes and lowered his head. He clasped his hands together as he reflected on his words. He felt as if he defiled the cherished memory because he spoke about it. All the times CC snuck into the kitchen for a pleasant afternoon conversation while Maxwell and Sara went out to lunch seemed almost average. He reflected on the memories because they were never mentioned. Now, they were just part of the past.

After Dr. Bort's pen glided against the lined yellow paper, she looked up and asked, "What happened to your friendship?" she asked. Her beady brown eyes met his blue, and Niles felt as if she was reading the answer on his face. She straightened her posture and tapped the pen against her notepad as she waited for his response.

"After Sara died, Mr. Sheffield was too distraught to work. CC stepped in and did all the work for him. She had to become tough to keep people from taking advantage of her. I felt as if she changed and became harsher with my insults. I guessed she stopped seeing me as a friend and more as an enemy," he admitted shamefully. He realized his actions resembled a child who acted out for attention. He wondered if he was that immature, but it was too late to change the past.

"Why do you keep torturing her then?" Dr. Bort said without looking up from her notepad. Her nose nearly touched the ink on the paper. Niles was reminded of all the times CC was holed up in the office and was bent over Maxwell's desk as she went over contract for hours.

Niles didn't know how to answer Dr. Bort's question. He had Fran as a best friend, and they both loved aggravating the business woman. He never meant to break her down, but he knew he was doing it all along. Maybe, he expected her to confront him about it, and they could work things out; however, he knew insulting her wouldn't restore their friendship. He also didn't know what else would. He sighed and responded, "I just didn't know what else to do."

"Well, how do you communicate with Miss Fine?" Dr. Bort asked.

"That's different," he responded almost annoyed that Dr. Bort was comparing CC Babcock, the sharp-minded self-suficient businesswoman, to Fran Fine. "I was helping Fran win the heart of Mr. Sheffield."

"But didn't you believe Miss Babcock had feelings for Mr. Sheffield? Why did you not help her?" the therapist inquired. A knowing smile crossed her thin lips as if she already knew his answer.

Niles thought of all the possible reasons. He truly felt that CC and Maxwell would be a terrible couple despite their similiar upbringings and class. Rather, CC would be painfully bored with Maxwell Sheffield. Fran, who clearly wanted to be married, was the exactly the warm-hearted person that belonged in the Sheffield family. If he was going to be perfectly honest with himself, he would admit that he couldn't bare to see CC Babcock with anyone else but himself. Unfortunately, he was unable to express his desire to have Miss Babcock for his own. He answered, "They're clearly not right for one another."

"Right," she replied writing down his response on the yellow paper. She placed the notepad in the binder pocket. She closed the binder and placed her hands firmly on the cover. "Well, thank you for all your help. Do you mind coming in next week at the same time?"

"Of course not," he replied.

"Next week, CC will be joining us; however, I have a suspicion that she will be relunctant to having you aid with her treatment. I won't be able to convince her otherwise, but you will. Do you think you can do that?" Dr. Bort asked calmly.

"Of course," he replied with a boyish grin. The two figures stood up and shook hands. Niles left the room. He couldn't wait to see CC conscious and rearing for a battle. He lived for those moments, but he was also excited to show her that he could be more than her downfall.

* * *

><p>Dr. Bort knocked on CC's door. "Come in," she heard a female say. She opened the door to see CC sitting on her bed. Her hair was damp and clung to her head. Her skin was tinged with pink from the heat of the water. There were water droplets on her black shirt, but she seemed more content than ever before.<p>

"Hello, Miss Babcock," Dr. Bort said taking a seat at the edge of the patient's bed. "You look well." A crooked smile crossed the patient's face. According the hospital scale, she had lost ten pounds. She seemed to regain her confidence and a bit of her figure. She was more determined to regain her good looks, sanity, and general Babcock pride.

"I'm glad you noticed," CC replied watching the woman open her binder. Dr. Bort pulled out the yellow and crossed her legs. She closed the black binder and put the notepad on top and balanced it on her knee.

"And how have you been sleeping?" the therapist asked.

"Surprisingly well despite this rock hard mattress," CC replied, "but you know I think the medication has something to do with that." Dr. Bort nodded. According the psychriatic ward's head psychriatrist, CC was on Prozac for her depression, and Xanax for her anxiety. Xanax tended to cause drowsiness, but no one was complaining that she was finally getting enough sleep so she wasn't threatening to hurt somebody on a daily basis.

"That's good to hear," Dr. Bort replied writing something down on her notepad. "I'd like to ask you some questions before we continue on with your therapy."

"Okay," CC replied arching an eyebrow. Even though she felt better, she knew the only way to continually make progress is do exactly what she was told. She would answer any question, take any medication, or try any treatment if she would be able to go home soon.

"Miss Babcock, you are a woman of class and wealth, and yet you continue to work, remain unmarried, and function as an independent adult. You've even admitted to not using much of your inheritance. Why is that?" Dr. Bort asked tapping the pen against the notepad.

CC took a deep breath. She was uncertain how to answer the question because she didn't have the answer. She had never wanted to be like her mother, wealthy beyond belief but have nothing to claim as hers, or her sister. Perhaps, she had been trying to gain her father's attention by following in his footsteps. For all she knew, she was just trying to further the gap between every other social elitist woman and herself. It wasn't as if she ever fit in with any of them. She merely shrugged and replied, "I can't imagine myself ever being the type to not work and sit around and gossip all day."

"So do you believe all people, who sit around and gossip, don't work?" the therapist asked writing something down on her notepad.

CC visualized two women in brightly colored tight clothing. Both had incredibly nasally voices and were chatting over two bowls of ice cream. The brunette was constantly talking about her issues with Maxwell Sheffield or whatever male was temporarily in her life. She clenched her jaw as she visualized Nanny Fine, in one of her short skirts and crop tops, strutting into the office and sitting enticingly on Maxwell Sheffield's desk. "I would say that's about right," she finally replied.

Dr. Bort's beady brown eyes met CC's deep blue that were flickering with hatred. The therapist laid her pen horizontally on the notepad and asked, "Who are you associating your answer with?"

"Excuse me?"

"You have an obviously disgusted expression on your face. Your jaw is clenched, and your eyes are flickering with hatred. You only get that expression when you are talking about your mother or Miss Fine. Which one is it?" Dr. Bort asked.

"Nanny Fine," she answered.

"Why do you think you hate her apart from her unprofessional appearance and her nasally shriek of laughter?" Dr. Bort asked flipping through her notepad until she found CC's initial comments about the nanny.

CC could think of a million reasons why she couldn't stand Nanny Fine. Everything ,from her laugh and her tendency to interrupt the producers when they were trying to get work done to her big brown eyes and warm smile, made CC loathe her existence. She hated that Fran was the one female companion she had, and she was there when she needed her. She hated that the nanny was close to Niles although it didn't surprise her. She hated that the brainless little twit was closer to him than she ever was or would be. Most of all, she hated that while she worked her ass off for her job and her unsuccessful relationships, everything fell into place with Fran. The Nanny was getting married to a Broadway producer and making her mother proud. CC was alone and failing her family every day of her pathetic life.

"Everything. I hate everything about her," she replied looking at the barred window.

"Right," Dr. Bort replied writing something down in her notepad. She slipped the object into the pocket of the binder. She closed the binder once more as she realized she was going to need Niles to get past CC's over simplified answers. Although she wanted to explore more of Fran's prescence, she knew she would be more successful if she had Niles to pull the information out of her patient. She stood up and said, "Well, thank you. Next time I see you, Niles will be with us. I'd like to try to use him for your treatment if that's alright."

Every part of CC wanted to scream "No, it's not alright", but she didn't have the choice in the matter. Dr. Bort had already left her room, and CC was alone to fret about Niles interfering with her treatment.

"That's just great," she muttered sarcastically. She realized her treatment was going to be a lot harder than she expected.


	8. By Her Side

**A/N: Thanks again for all those who have reviewed. I apologize that it took me so long to update. I just started my new job, but I will try to have a chapter by Wednesday or next Sunday. **

Niles, humming a tune nearly identical to "Our Love is Here to Stay", whisked the yellow cake batter in the large metallic silver bowl. He kept his eyes on the yellow mixture in hopes that baking would deter from his anxiety. He poured the batter into a rectuangular cake pan and evened out the surface with a spatula. When the cake was finally in the oven, a woman bounded downstairs while calling his name.

He looked at Fran Fine in a soft pink suit with a black collar. He short was short and a pair of nylon tights covered her legs. Her black heels clacked the ground as she turned around. "Niles, how do I look?"

"Exquisite," he replied knowing she would go change if he said otherwise. He imagined CC roll her eyes in the distance as he pronounced the word, and he longed for her natural prescence. "What's with your choice of attire?"

"Well, Ma told my cousin Stacy about me marrying a rich successful producer, and she just had to see what a woman of wealth looks like. I couldn't let a chance to show her up pass by, ya' know?" She explained placing a hand on her hip. "Do ya' think will this work? I'd ask Maxwell, but he'd say something like I look wonderful no matter what I'm wearing which isn't always helpful." Instictively, he began thinking of CC, a woman born into wealth, who knew exactly how a woman of class should behave. She was poised and never showed any sign of vulnerability except when her father came to visit. Her natural feminine graced was partially masked by business suits of beige or black material, and she owned the room as soon as she walked in.

"You will make her wish to drop dead," he replied kindly as Fran released a high-pitched nasally squeal.

"So today's the day you get to speak to Miss Babcock. Are ya' nervous?" She asked putting her elbows on the island countertop.

"I'll be fine as long as she doesn't try to suck my blood," he replied sardonically. He was certain that their therapy session would be difficult. He didn't know what to expect except a stream of protests from the patient. If he was in her shoes, even though he doubted he could fit in them, he would probably do the same thing. She had every right to not want him to be involved after the way he treated her for so long.

"Well, good luck," she replied with a warm smile, "I know it's been hard on you since she's been gone." He nodded as a sign of thanks, but she had no idea how hard it was knowing he hurt somebody, he cared about, so badly.

* * *

><p>Niles sat in the yellow plastic chair. The dry erase board had the group therapy's topic written in green marker. He looked out the large window expecting CC to arrive soon. He wished he was in the patient recreation room because the area seemed more open and warm in comparison to the blank white walls and the dingy blue-grey carpet. The large wooden door creaked open as CC Babcock crept in. She was thinner than the last time Niles saw her, and the red cuts on her arm looked like mere scratches. He noticed she was wearing a black Butler's Association t-shirt. Since he packed her bags in his room, he must have thrown in the shirt by accident.<p>

"Don't even comment on the shirt," was the first thing CC Babcock said as she took her seat in a red chair, "Today's laundry day, and this was the only clean shirt I had." She crossed her legs and sat upright. Niles couldn't help being impressed by her calm icy demeanor even being in a mental hospital and wearing his t-shirt and sweatpants. He realized that she hadn't acknowledged his existence, and he wanted to be offended but couldn't bring himself to be angry with her.

"CC, are you going to say anything to Niles?" Dr. Bort asked opening up her binder and placing the yellow notepad on top of it. She clicked her pen as CC simply glared at her therapist.

"The way I see it: he's part of the reason I'm here. Tell me, what the hell I'm supposed to say to him?" she retorted refusing to meet Dr. Bort's or Niles's eyes. The therapist shot the male an apologetic smile while CC wrapped her arms around herself.

"And why do you say that?" Dr. Bort asked urging her patient to open up and show her vulnerable side. Perhaps, if she was lucky, CC would express why his insults caused her so much grievance besides the multitude and the physically hurtful pranks.

"Isn't that self-explanatory?" CC answered. "Where should I start: the daily insults about my weight, intellegence, and feminity or the pranks that leave me physically inhured? You tell me." Niles took a deep breath and reminded himself that her behavior was to be expected; however, he hated how she wanted nothing to do with him. He needed to say something to calm her down or resist a little less.

"Miss Babcock," he said looking at a clearly infruriated woman, "I really want to help you get past this."

"You! When were you any help to me?" her voice shot. He met her blue eyes that were flashing like bolts of lightning. There seemed to be something almost animalistic about the way her lip curled into a snarl and the subtle shake of her head. "Are you just doing your job? Cleaning up the mess you made."

"What?"

"Although, my mental health is just a sick game to you," she reminded him while Dr. Bort's pen rapidly glided against the lined yellow paper. "It's not to me. Don't you get it? I'm hurting. I'm _here_. This is serious, and I can't have you jeopardizing my mental health."

"I understand that," he replied meeting her eyes. "I didn't come here to cause you any more pain. If I thought my behavior was going to land you here, I wouldn't have been so cruel. You've got to believe that."

"CC," Dr. Bort said looking up from her writing, "I want him to be an integral part of your treatment." The word "integral"was somehow associated to the word "permanent" in CC's mind. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she tried to process what her therapist was saying. This had to be some sort of nightmare. Perhaps, Fran would appear and force her to wear some flashy colorful dress, or her mother would appear and laugh at her from a distance. Neither of these things happened, and CC didn't know what to say.

"What?" she spat dumbly.

"CC, he knows what aggravates you the most. Someone with that much insight could help figure out what caused this," Dr. Bort said glancing at Niles for help.

"Look, I know we haven't always been on the greatest of terms," Niles said, "but you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you." He noticed the fury in her deep blue eyes and the clench of her jaw. Although she was furious with him, he felt as if he said the right thing. He merely had to deal with her hurricane of rage, but she needed to give him a little bit of credit for trying to be civil. Unfortunately for him, that would be completely uncharacteristic of her.

"There for me?" her voice crashed like glass shattering on a wooden floor as she brought herself to full height. "Clearly, the clorox fumes have messed with your head. When were you ever there for me, Niles? You weren't even there for me when Sara died." She balled her hands into fists and looked him square in the eyes as if daring him to continue. Dr. Bort merely observed the spectacle as she wrote down the scenario. She wondered if Niles knew that CC's anger was allowing them to see why she was so angry with him. As soon as CC calmed down, she wanted to explore their current topic.

Niles knew she had been there for him, but he knew her anger was a key to bringing down her defenses. With a boyish grin, he replied, "Well, the same goes for you, and I thought dogs were supposed to be loyal."

"Now, you listen here, Tidy Bowl," she replied menancingly, "you damn well better pull your head out of Maxwell's toilet right now because we both know that's not true. I was there for you when Katherine left even though I hated her. I was there when you had the heart attack and took your side when you were angry with Nanny Fine. Like every other damn time before, you pushed me aside when I tried to be nice to you. How are you such an idiot where you can't understand that?" She collapsed in her chair and buried her head in her hands. Niles couldn't tell whether she was crying or feeling the weight of her words. He wanted to hold her close and whisper softly that everything was going to be alright.

Instead, he bend down on his knees in front of her and took her clasped hands in his own. "Chastity Claire Babcock, it's not like that this time, and I am so sorry for everything I put you through. I'm here this time, and I'm not going anywhere."

His pale blue eyes met her as she looked up at him. There was an earnestness and sincerity etched in the lines of his face, but he had lied to her before; however, she felt as if she could believe him this time. She wanted to know why this time seemed so different than all the times before. Apart from her being in a mental institution, he voluntarily came to help her. She sighed and replied, "Alright fine, Niles. If you can be a civil decent human being, so can I."

His face lit up and a smile overtook his features and he sat in his chair. He looked at Dr. Bort who had a page full of notes from CC's yelling. She flipped the page from her notepad. "CC," she said, "you said Niles wasn't there for you after Sara's death. Let's talk about that."

CC explained how Sara was practically her sister. Although she had to take over Sheffield productions, Sara's death was incredibly hard for her to handle. She had to function as a businesswoman and put her personal life aside. She had expected Niles to be there for her at the end of the day, but he simply insulted her. Quickly figuring out he had become her enemy, she turned to alcohol to numb the pain.

Dr. Bort asked Niles about his behavior during this time. He explained how he had to take care of Maxwell and the children, who were grieving, while CC had a mask of indifference. Whenever he saw CC, hard at work, and her newly dyed hair, it seemed as if Sara's death didn't matter to her. He insulted her more and more trying to cause her to react. He had been so accustomed to her telling him everything that he hadn't expected her to develop a completely professional demeanor. He wished he had known so he could've been there for her.

As the therapy session progressed, Niles realized he needed to be by her side. As she discussed how her insults made her feel worse about herself, he began to see that he added more pain, and he wanted to be the tourniquet to the wounds he caused. When asked why his words hurt her so much, she shook her head and answered, " I don't know."

At the end of their session, Dr. Bort left and kept the door open so Niles and CC could have a few moments together. "Why do you want to help me?" CC asked as if she had been thinking on the matter for quite some time.

"Because it's partially my fault you're here," he replied perplexed, "why do you ask?"

"Well, if you want to do this solely out of guilt, you can just leave," she said decisively while keeping her eyes on the white board, "both of us can't be burdened by the past if we want me to ever get out of here."

"Babs, I told you: I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine," she said standing up from her chair and leaving the room. Niles couldn't help wondering what she meant by being "burdened by the past." He gulped as he realized he was bound to find out.


	9. Rise of Fear

**A/N: Sorry, I know this chapter is later than I promised. Life tends to get in the way, but I will try to have an update by Saturday. Thank you to all those who have reviewed, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Warning: this chapter gets really depressing and kind of graphic.**

Niles sighed and pushed off the white blanket from his body. He was tired of the sleepless night, he slipped out of his bed and pulled on a blue robe. He left his robe and walked downstairs to make himself a cup of chamomile tea. When he arrived at the kitchen, he found Maxwell Sheffield, clad in striped pajamas, sitting at the kitchen table.

"Sir," Niles asked, "do you need anything?" He wondered why his employer was in the kitchen in the middle of the night. The butler skirted behind the island and allowed the water from the faucet into the green painted tea kettle. He placed the kettle on the stove before taking a seat by his oldest friend.

"No, old man," Maxwell answered with a sigh, "Miss Babcock's situation has just been troubling me."

"I understand, sir," Niles replied. If she hadn't been sent to the mental institution, he would have difficulty talking about her and his feeling towards her; however, he felt he could open up about his feelings towards her. Although he found it bizzarre that Maxwell Sheffield had been thinking about CC, he wondered if his employer had an useful information.

"Niles, I've never told you this, but she's never been the slightest bit attractive. I can't help wondering why my engagement to MIss Fine set her off," Maxwell said. Niles shook his head at the businessman's oblivion, but he let the man continue. "We made a bargain so we'd be protected from our demons so to speak."

Niles got out of his chair and poured the hot water into a blue mug. He put in a tea bag and sat back down. "I don't understand," he finally said before taking a sip of chamomile didn't think CC was that talented of an actress to pretend to have a crush on Maxwell Sheffield for ten years. Surely, he would see some break of character. He realized he had. The drunken kiss in the living room and the way she acted when he barged into her hotel were probably the only moments where she wasn't pretending to be anything.

"A few years after Sara's death, we were required to go to some awards banquet. When we arrived, she saw her mother on the arm of some investor. The two women shared a few words, but CC seemed distraught when she returned. Apparently, her mother made a hurtful remark about CC's inability to win the heart of a successful rich businessman. After all the help CC has been to the company, I decided to step in and pretended to be interested in her. It became a routine so she would be safe from her mother, and I would be protected from the women trying to sleep their way into show business. Of course, Miss Fine posed as an iminent threat to this plan shortly after her arrival," Maxwell explained.

Niles took a sip of his tea as he wondered why CC feared her mother. He imagined her mother as a ruthless cold-hearted bitch with icy blue eyes and pounds of botox injested in her face. What puzzled him more was that he didn't know about it. He knew everything that happened in the house, but that completely escaped him. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked.

Maxwell replied with a chuckle,"Well, after the way you've treated her, old man, you don't really think she'd give you the ammonition to destroy her, do you? And Fran would never forgive me."

Niles nodded in understanding as he took another sip of tea. He watched his employer slip out of his chair. "Goodnight, Niles," he said before exiting the kitchen. The butler sighed before taking another sip of the liquid as he contemplated the reasons why CC feared her mother so much.

"So she really is the devil spawn," he said with a boyish grin.

* * *

><p>CC groggily rolled on her side and ran her hands along her arms. She released a sigh of relief when she discovered there were no words etched in her arm or blood covering her skin. She opened her eyes to see the yellow and orange mingle in the beautiful sunrise.<p>

She closed her eyes as she recalled another horrid dream that involved her mother's cruel words. She shuddered as she visualized the words carved into her body and covered in a thick coat of blood. She pulled the composistion book off her bedside table and placed it on her lap. She flipped to a blank page and began listing every word she remembered seeing carved in her body.

_Failure  
>Disgrace<br>Hideous  
>Useless<br>Moron  
>Old<em>

She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She could remember every foul comment her mother ever made at her expense as if they were made only yesterday. Every time her mother called and CC repeated that she was still unmarried and working. she was called a "failure." When her mother discovered Maxwell Sheffield was marrying Nanny Fine, CC was called a "disgrace to the Babcock name." She had been verbally assaulted for most of her life, and she constantly had difficulty discerning whether the words, that had become her beliefs, were her own thoughts or her mother's voice replaying in her head.

She realized why Nile's insults hurt her so much. Even though she could counter his barbs, he constantly repeated the nagging voice in her head. Unknowingly, he commented on her weight, her appearance, her feminity, and her intelligence. All of which, her mother had scathingly commented on. He simply added salt to the open wounds. She just got angrier with him because he wasn't supposed to hurt her. He was supposed to care about her.

She cared about him. She knew that, but it confused her to the point of physical pain. She wasn't supposed to have feelings for a butler just like she wasn't supposed to have a career. She had always been the black sheep of the family, but she couldn't handle her mother's reaction. Unfortunately for her, she would never be happy as long as she tried to abide by her mother's rules; however, she didn't want to deal with her mother's wrath. No matter what she did, she couldn't make her mother proud or love her.


	10. Couple's Therapy

**A/N: So I apologize for not updating sooner. I'm busy and all my time is spent working so here's a chapter. Thanks for all of those who reviewed. So please enjoy.**

CC's blue eyes darted around the blank room. She wondered why being alone in the room was a little maddening. The room didn't bother her nearly as much during her group therapy sessions. Perhaps, it was the tall stack of colorful chairs in the corner of the room. Perhaps, it was Dr. Bort's stare that made her feel like an animal in a zoo. Her blue eyes landed on the blue empty chair beside her. She wondered why Niles wasn't sitting in the plastic chair beside her and released a heavy sigh. He had to be atleast fifteen minutes late although she never was certain of the time any more.

Her head jerked to the side when she heard the door open. She bit her lip and frowned when Niles walked through the doorway. He acted as if he wasn't late, and everything was perfectly normally. Quite frankly, she found his demeanor completely infuriating. "You're late," she stated briefly.

Niles scowled and glanced at Dr. Bort. There was no possible way that he was late. His bright blue eyes landed on his analog watch with a simple black band. "No, I'm not," he answered brightly. He noticed CC clench her jaw and knew she was going to retaliate. She couldn't stand being wrong especially when it came to matters of business and punctuality.

"Yes, you are," she replied feircely.

"CC, I assure you that I'm perfectly on time. You must be confused because you had to wait for my arrival," he said placing emphasis on the word "my." A sly mischevious grin crossed his face as he witnessed his rival fall into defeat.

Dr. Bort cleared her throat grabbing Niles's and CC's full attention. The therapist's beady brown eyes seemed to detect the spark in CC's blue eyes and Nile's smile almost glow. "Alright," the therapist said opening the black binder and pulled out the yellow notepad, "Today, I would like to talk to you about your relationship."

CC and Niles looked at one another in incredible disbelief. "We don't have relationship," CC said almost hesistantly. Her eyes never left the man sitting beside her. She wrapped her arms around her torso covered in a white cotton t-shirt as she mentally prepared herself for that day's therapy session.

"I'm not talking about a romantic relationship," Dr. Bort clarified writing something in her notepad. "I'm talking about how you and Niles interact with one another." Niles nodded in understanding as the therapist glanced at CC who seemed to be deep in thought. "Alright then," Dr. Bort continued, "how would you two define your relationship?"

"Complicated," Niles answered honestly. He took a deep breath as he thought of how his words affected her. He knew, in order to be any help to CC, he needed to be as open and vulnerable although she was in the room. "I mean we can go from insulting one another to dancing in the Sheffield living room or switching parts of Maxwell's books."

Dr. Bort wrote his words on the paper and looked up at CC Babcock. "And what about you?" the therapist asked the patient.

CC answered "Complicated is definately the word for it." The blonde woman closed her eyes. She knew how she felt about Niles, but she had difficulty expressing her emotions. She would have to be honest about her emotions sooner or later, and she was safe in the mental institution. " Apart from constantly bickering with one another, we have difficulty communication because we go from banter to drunkenly making out in the Sheffield living room."

Niles's blue eyes flashed with curiousity. He wondered if CC knew how she was talking to him. From the way she spoke, he was reminded of an old couple in marriage counseling. He wanted to say something or correct her, but he remained silenced. He looked at Dr. Bort who was scribbling something in black ink on the lined yellow paper of the notepad.

"CC, would you care to elaborate?" the therapist inquired.

"Fine," she said trying to remain confident. "It's just hard being honest with ourselves." She took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her loose blonde hair. She glanced at Niles then her feet which were covered by a pair of white socks and black fuzzy slippers. "Or at least that's how it is for me. I think it's harder for me to hide behind banter instead of actually doing something about it."

CC knew why she had never told Niles that she deeply cared about him; however, she was a grown adult and a business woman. As a business woman, she had to take risks in order to have any success. Maybe, in order to be happy, she had to take some personal risks of her own and diverge from her mother's personal rules. Her mother would lose her mind then become a serial killer if she knew CC cared about a butler, but she was at a constant stalemate with her wants, needs. It was driving her crazy. She needed to stop living by the Babcock family rule book and start taking risks to be happy. She went to college and became a producer, and she hadn't ended up horribly. She was almost definite she was doing the right thing.

Dr. Bort asked, "Niles, do you feel as if you two have issues that need to be worked on?"

To resist the urge to make a sarcastic remark, he merely nodded. He muttered, "Obviously, that's kind of why I'm here," but neither of the women seemed to catch his remark. He wondered what caused CC to automatically open up about their relationship. Perhaps, she had learned something in group therapy, or a doctor's advice had resonated with her. Of course, if she was going to be completely open about them, he needed to do the same for her sake.

Dr. Bort asked, "So what causes you two to act in such a hateful manner?"

"As you know, I didn't start the war of the words," CC replied before taking a deep breath, "but I started fighting back when I couldn't handle his insults any longer."

"Why do you think his insults hurt you so much?" Dr. Bort, impressed by her patient's willingness to open up, asked.

CC instantly remembered the dream where her body was covered in blood and saw her mother's words carved in her body. She pulled her knees to her chest and replied softly, "Not that Niles would know about this, but his insults reminded me of my mother. I was never able to handle how she treated me, but I could deal with Niles." She looked over at Niles, who was staring at her feet.

"And what kinds of things would your mother comment on?" Dr. Bort asked. Her pen quickly danced across the lines on the yellow paper. Her beak shaped nose touched the newly found words written. Her beady brown eyes flickered from all the new information that was being presented.

"Anything apart from the standard Babcock level of perfection," CC said almost snorting with a shake of the head. One of her legs slipped back to the floor. "She'd make comments of my weight, by lack of relationship, my intelligence, and constantly remind me that I failed her as a daughter."

"Niles, how do you feel about the way your words affected her?" Dr. Bort asked glancing at the man sitting in the blue plastic chair. His pale blue eyes were locked onto his shoes, and his mouth was drawn into a tight line. CC wondered if he was in deep in thought or feeling miserable about his hurtful insults over the years spent together.

"Obviously, if I had known that, I wouldn't have made those comments," he replied looking up. He knew he never had control over what CC's mother had said and done in the past. He was sincerely sorry about how he treated CC; however, he refused to drown himself in regret and guilt. He just needed to figure out how he was going to communicate her now that he couldn't use insults on a daily basis. Maybe, he would be nice to her; however, he and CC probably knew that his affection would have a subtle barb as in her words and actions.

"Alright," Dr. Bort muttered as she wrote something in the notepad, "and what kind of issues do you think you need to work on?"

Niles and CC looked at one another. Their eyes locked as they tried to determine what the other person would say. Niles ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. They obviously had issues, but he didn't know how to vocalize them or what they were specifically. He wondered if CC felt the same.

"I guess we can't go back to what we were," CC started slowly looking at the butler for help.

"But I don't know how to talk to her without asking her why she doesn't do her business outside," Niles admitted. The therapist determined the couple had communication issues. When the session came to a close, Niles left the room with a newfound sense that CC would leave the institution, and things were going to change between them. Somehow, he knew if CC could face her past demons, they could have a semi-functional relationship.


	11. Facing Old Demons

**A/N: Thanks for all those who have reviewed. I am so glad you liked the previous chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as well.**

"CC," the peppy nurse with brown hair tied into a neat ponytail said, "you have a visitor." The patient looked at the nurse adorned in bright pink scrubs. Niles wasn't supposed to be visiting the mental ward that day. She couldn't fathom the individual who came to see her that day. She bit the inside of her cheek and removed herself from the bed. She followed the peppy nurse down the hall and saw her mother sitting on the white bench in front of the nurses's station.

"Mother," CC almost whispered as she felt the air leave her lungs. Instantly, she crossed her arms against her chest and straightened her posture. She glanced at the nurse then at her mother, who hadn't changed in years. Not a strand of platinum blonde hair was out of place. Her mouth was still drawn in a perfectly straight line. She wore pointed black heels, a long black skirt, and a grey cashmere sweater. "What are you doing here?" she asked almost defensively.

"A better question is what are you doing here, dear," her mother said with an insincere smile. The glint in BB's pale blue eyes almost looked like an ice, and CC realized her mother was only there for satisfaction. She was not going to allow her mother to get the best of her.

CC sighed and replied, "I think the answer is rather obvious."

The mother and daughter were ushered into the patient recreation area by the peppy nurse with brown hair. The two women sat on the floral patterned couch "How did you find out that I was here?" CC asked while keeping her eyes locked onto the bright colorful painting of flowers hanging on the wall.

"Well, you were missing from high society, and there was a rumor that you gained weight. Unfortunately, the rumor was true," her mother replied smugly. CC wanted to punch her mother in the face; however, there were at least three nurses watching them intently. She couldn't imagine her weight and disappearance from snobby women being the only thing that mattered to her mother. The desire to torture the rest of humanity was also involved; however, her mother didn't care about humanity or her youngest daughter. Family appearances were everything, and CC was the one giving her sister rabbit ears.

"CC, how did this happen?" her mother inquired almost demanding an answer that CC didn't know how to answer. Was she supposed to admitt that she was in love with a butler or blame it on her mother's terrible parenting? She met her mother's eyes. They were icy blue and expecting an answer that would be sufficient to tell her friends without criticism.

"An accumulation of events that I have never worked on in therapy," CC answered scathingly. She clenched her jaw and her fists as if she was preparing for a battle.

She wished her father had discovered she was in a mental hospital instead of her mother. He would have asked how she was feeling and made plans to try to see her more often. She was sure after her mother left, she would visit her friends, pour herself some scotch, and forget her youngest daughter ever existed. Her brother and sister would never discover where she was because her mother was frightened to have all three Babcock children against her. Now that CC was against her mother, she realized the woman was the embodiment of fear. She was scared of poverty, her children's wrath, of losing social standing that she failed to live her own life. She clung tighter to ridiculous ideals, and CC was not going to live her life like her mother.

"So has Maxwell come to see you?" BB Babcock asked with a hint of hope caught in her usual nonchalant tone.

"You know he's marrying Nanny Fine," she reminded. "Why would he come to see me?"

Her mother bit her lip only before muttering something under her breath. CC rolled her eyes as if she clearly heard what her mother had said.

"Perhaps, I can find you a successful, rich..." her mother said.

Annoyed by her mother, CC cut her off, "No, I don't need a lawyer or businessman to make me happy. I need people in my life who genuinely care about me." BB met the ferocity in CC's deep blue eyes. It was the same look Stuart gave her when he announced they were getting a divorce. The look in CC's eyes frightened and infruriated her.

"Don't be ridiculous, dear."

"Believe me, mother, I'm not."

"Let me remind you: you are a Babcock. It's about time you acted like one. Your sister is perfectly happy, and she married a banker," her mother drawled comparing CC to her older sister. Normally, CC would brush off the comment and asked about her sister; however, she clenched her jaw and prepared for work.

"Need I remind you: you aren't really a Babcock. You and Dad got a divorce if I remember quickly," CC retorted with a power and grace of lioness on the hunt. CC made an internal decision to keep her mother from destroying her life. She deserved a chance to be happy, but she needed to show her mother that she couldn't be hurt with snide remarks.

Her mother stood up and placed her perfectly manicured hands on her hips. Her blue eyes flickered with unadultered malice. Every inch of her dyed blonde hair wanted to stand on edge like a hissing cat. Despite her attire, but she looked like she needed to be wearing a black cloak. It was apparent that CC crossed a line. Unfortunately for the younger Babcock, she wasn't going to get away with her terrible comment. It was a painful reminder that BB had failed a lifelong commitment.

"At least I could get a date at your age," her mother snarled.

CC laughed and crossed her legs. She had been subjected to far worse comments from Niles that her mother's words had lost their power completely. She had all the power and intended to use it. "I didn't know you had a date with the Grim Reaper," she replied with a victorious smirk.

After her mother's remarks, CC released a husky chuckle and made her mother rue the day she ever crossed CC Babcock. Eventually one of the nurses hesistantly entered the room and politely said, "Visiting hours are over." BB glared at her daughter then the nurse. Despite her daughter's loose blonde hair, sweatpants and t-shirt, BB knew she unable to argue with her youngest daughter.

"Fine," her mother said as she followed her mother out of the room. BB looked back at her daughter then shook her head. She couldn't figure out what caused her daughter to change, but she seemed more like her father than she could remember.

CC went back to her room as she wiped a stray tear from her eyes. She couldn't deny that she had some difficulty in standing up against her parent. Her mother called her "fat", "a failure to all Babcocks," and "stubborn." She slipped into the bathroom door and pressed her hands on the white bathroom counter. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror. She met her own gaze and said aloud, "You're okay. You're okay." She kept repeating these words until her breathing slowed and every muscle in her body relaxed. Realizing she faced a huge obstacle in her life, she crawled into her bed and fell asleep as soon as her head fell onto her pillow.


	12. Unlike a Bird

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I'm so glad I have so many people invested in this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter and find that it is worth the wait.**

CC sighed as she watched two small sparrows fly outside the window of her bedroom. As she watched the two birds dance around each other, she wondered what she would do if she was blessed with the freedom that the birds had been given. Instead, she was trapped in a room with bars on the window. She wondered how many patients, before her, held onto the bars and tried to pry them from the wall. She was distracted by knock on the door and released a noncommitted grunt. "Come in," she answered as she heard the doorknob turn. Dr. Bort, clad in a dark grey pinstripe suit that made her look incredibly taller, thus, more intimidating, entered the clean room. The therapist gracefully sat down at the edge of the bed opposing CC's.

"Hello, CC," Dr. Bort said resting her black binder on top of her knee length dark grey skirt. "How are you feeling today?"

The patient wanted to say "painfully bored" or "desperate to get out of this hell hole." Instead, she muttered a simple "fine." Dr. Bort nodded as she opened the black binder and flipped to an empty yellow page in her notepad.

"CC, I heard about your mother visiting. Would you talk about that?" Dr. Bort asked. CC straightened her posture as she glanced at the two birds that were continuing to flit outside her window. She merely nodded as she turned her attention from the small animals.

"Okay," Dr. Bort said as she tapped her pen on the yelloC pages,"how did you feel after your visit with your mother?"

CC shook her head as she tried to recall the exact emotion she had experienced. She had been proud of her accomplishments, but she felt so vulnerable that she wanted to vomit. "I'm not sure," she answered honestly, "I mean I knew I did something right in my life for once, but I almost had an anxiety attack afterwards." She watched the therapist's pen dance across the page as she wondered what Dr. Bort was getting out of her emotions.

"Well, I am very proud that you stood up for yourself," Dr. Bort said with a small smile. "I know that must have been hard on you. Was it difficult defending yourself?"

CC laughed and replied, "I've been doing it for so long that it was almost natural." Dr. Bort wrote CC's response down as she released a soft chuckle.

"That's possibly a good thing," Dr. Bort said closing her black binder. She looked down at her watch and grimaced when she noticed the time. "Niles should be here shortly so how about we walk to the patient recreation area?" CC nodded and scooted off the bed. Closing the door behind her, CC followed the therapist down the hall. She took a seat on the floral patterned couch as Dr. Bort sat in the red plastic chair in front of the couch. It wasn't long until Niles sat beside CC on the couch.

"As you both said, you two have communication issues so I would like you to tell one another how the others' actions make you feel," Dr. Bort explained. Niles and CC glanced at one another. Niles arched an eyebrow as if he doubted the therapist's methods would actually work. CC bit her lip as she tried to comprehend what Dr. Bort wanted them to do.

"What?" CC gasped.

"I mean, for example, CC would say 'Niles, when you do this, you make me feel this'. Understand?" Dr. Bort explained as she opened the black binder and pulled out the notepad and a black pen out of the pocket of the binder. "Niles, why don't you start?"

Niles glanced at CC and casually shrugged. He tried to determine whether to reflect on the blonde's cruel words or when she demands a drink. Coming to the realization that he would have more than one oppurtunity to discuss her behavior, he gathered his courage and said. "When you treat me as just a butler, I feel worthless and angry." He looked at Dr. Bort in order to see if he performed the excercise correctly. The woman gracefully nodded her large head.

"CC, it's your turn," Dr. Bort said.

"This should be easy," CC mumbled under her breath. Truthfully, she had no idea how to start. His insults were too easy and they thoroughly discussed them already. She could talk about how being physically maimed by his mischevious pranks made her feel less than a human. She crossed her arms against her chest and tapped her foot against the floor. "Niles, when you tamper with my work, I feel angry and disrespected," she said after releasing a soft sigh.

"Now, when have I ever done that?" Niles inquired with a sly grin. His blue eyes twinkled as Dr. Bort quickly wrote down how the man was behaving.

"Boobcock," CC replied narrowing her eyes as the man, sitting beside her, emmitted a soft chuckle.

"Niles, your turn," Dr. Bort said as she raised her beady brown eyes from the yellow pages of the notepad. He nodded as he continued pondering how CC's actions affected him. Realizing her actions didn't always immediately affect him, he would have to think about her personal decisions.

"When you flirt with Maxwell Sheffield in front of me, I feel..." he trailed off as he met the women's inquiring eyes; however, he wasn't sure exactly how CC's actions made him feel. Yes, watching her fawn all over his employer made him incredibly angry and feel resentment towards his boss. He was also hurt that CC would choose Maxwell over him. He realized the emotion he felt was jealousy, but he couldn't say that in front of CC Babcock. Unfortunately for him, he had to be incredibly honest if he was going to be any help to her. "Jealous," he finally said, "incredibly jealous."

"Why?" CC asked dumbfounded.

"Well, until very recently, I thought you had actual feelings for him, and I couldn't see why he would have captured your heart," he responded without any further description. CC slightly bit her lip. The idea that Niles cared enough about her to be jealous endeared the blonde woman. Although she knew he wasn't telling the full truth, she turned her attention to the therapist busily writing in her notepad.

"Your turn, CC," the therapist said nonchalantly. "Perhaps, try a more positive emotion."

CC tried to remember a time where she was truly happy being with Niles. He spiked her drinks with dirty gym socks and made jokes in front and behind her back. She recalled the temporary alliance between the butler and the socialite. She helped with his dishes, and he made her a tissue holder for her bathroom. "When we spend time together without trying to kill one another, I feel geniunely happy and relaxed."

The two continued the excercise for half an hour until CC said weakly, "When you turn from a friend to an enemy, I feel like you hate me." Not even Dr. Bort expected that confession from the blonde patient, who was fighting tears from her deep blue eyes. Niles's pale blue eyes widened from shock and was unsure how to react. He wanted to put an arm of solace around her shoulders or gently plant a kiss on her forehead; however, he couldn't bring himself to show her how he truly felt about her.

"Oh Babs," he said gently touching her hand, "I never knew I made you feel that way. I never meant..." Although he perfectly understood her emotion from being in counseling sessions with her, he began to think Fran, and their friendship and dislike of CC Babcock, had caused him to lose a chance at a relationship.

"Alright," Dr. Bort said after clearing her throat, "Next week, we will discuss what you two like about one another. Your homework is to bring a list about each other's positive qualities." The therapist put the notepad in the pocket of the binder and rose out of her chair. "I will give you two a few moments alone to talk." Like a mightly hawk, Dr. Bort swept out of the room and walked over to the nurses' station. After giving instructions to the peppy nurse with brown hair, the therapist was no longer in sight.

"So does anyone miss me in that house?" CC asked as she studied the painting of the brightly colored flowers on the wall.

Although Niles could have easily said, "Who would miss you, Miss Babcock?", he merely looked down at his hands that had touched hers and said, "Of course, Fran and Max are worried about you."

"And the children?"

"They never had the pleasure of meeting the woman behind the scathing comments and business suits," Niles remarked with a smile. He placed a comforting smile around CC's shoulder. He noticed that she seemed to be deep in though about something other than the children or the painting.

"How long have I been here?" she asked. Her big blue eyes met his.

"About two months. Why?"

"It seems like I have been here longer," she answered coolly as she glanced at the magazines at the table then at Niles. "I wonder if I will ever get to go home. Although, I don't have much to go back to."

"Are you that worried about what will happen after you get out of here?"

Before she could answer, the peppy nurse in bubblegum pink scrubs announced it was time for Niles to leave. He pulled himself from the couch and followed the nurse out of the room. He looked over his shoulder to see CC get off the couch, and he desperately wished he was able to finish their conversation.


	13. Homework

**A/N: Merry Christmas to all. I know this is later than Christmas, but I tried. Thanks to all who have reviewed and patiently waited for these upcoming chapters. Sorry that this chapter is so short, but the next one will probably make up for it. **

Niles, sitting down at the kitchen table, looked at the blank paper in front of him. Every blue line antagonized him. He sighed as he finally removed the cap of the pen. He wished that he made this list earlier. Tommorow, he would present his list of CC's good qualities; however, he had been so caught up in planning Mr. Sheffield's and Fran's weddings and in his daily butler duties that he had forgot all about Dr. Bort's assignment.

As he began to think of CC's finer qualities, Fran walked into the kitchen. Her curly dark brown hair was bound by a ponytail, and her body was covered by a fluffy white robe. "I've been looking for ya', Mistah," she said as she began to rummage through the freezer for a pint of Rocky Road ice cream. "Do you want to watch 'Funny Girl' with me?"

Although Niles was warmed by the gesture, he wasn't sure whether he could watch another film starring Barbara Streisand that week. "I'm sorry. I just have some work that needs to get done for Miss Babcock's treatment," he replied apologetically.

"Oh yeah, how is she doing?" Fran asked. Her big brown eyes were filled with worry and concern.

Niles gave a small smile and replied, " A lot better, actually." Although he could have easily discussed CC's fear of future outside treatment, he refrained. Instead, he found himself talking about CC's loss of thirty pounds, how brave the woman was, and how open she was. Fran noticed how much love Niles had for the woman just by how he talked about her.

She nodded in understanding; however, she wondered if the butler and the socialite would end up in a relationship after she left the mental ward. "So what's gonna happen with you two after she gets out of...well, ya' know?" she asked. Niles merely shrugged as he looked down at the paper with more affection. "Well, whatever happens," she continued, "I know things won't be the same." She, with a metal spoon and the pint of ice cream, exited the kitchen. Niles picked up his pen and began to write the list as if it was the most natural thing on earth.

_Her determination.  
>Her beautiful blue eyes<br>Her rapier wit  
>Stronger than an Amazonian woman<br>Incredibly intelligent  
>More beautiful than anyone has given her credit for<br>Her rare moments of child like innocence  
>Incredibly sexy without having to wear revealing clothing.<em>

Before long, his list was completed. Relieved that he had finished his assignment, he folded the paper in half and took it with him upstairs. He looked down at the folded paper in his hands. He couldn't help but wonder if that piece of paper would forever change his life.

* * *

><p>CC stared at the blank pages in her notebook. Her eyes focused on the blue lines that seemed to be the same shade of blue as Niles's eyes, and she couldn't help smiling. Although she hated to admitt it, she missed the man that came to visit her every week. She picked up the pen as she began to think of his good qualities. He came to see her every week so she wrote down the word "caring." Time and time again, he managed to outwit her, and he was definately smarter than Maxwell Sheffield; therfore, she wrote down "devilishly smart."<p>

Realizing her analytical approach was more time consuming, she closed her eyes. She liked to think that her logical approach had limited her emotion; therefore, she only had two words written down. She cared deeply for Niles so there had to be reasons why.

"He is funny," she muttered under her breath as she wrote down the words. She reflected on all his creative yet snarky comments. Even at her expense, she realized he was talented at making her laugh.

Somehow, she remembered the comments that were made in the Sheffield's living room as they sat on the couch. The kiss, although fueled by alcohol, was the most raw, passionate, and memorable kiss of her life. Just thinking about it made her weak in the knees. She quickly wrote down "fantastic kisser." Among the rest of the list, she wrote:

_Fairly organized  
>Devious<br>Sharp-minded  
>A gentleman (when he wants to be)<br>Peircing pale blue eyes  
>Keeps me on my toes<em>

Before long, she felt that she had enough written down on her list. The very last line read "still my best friend." She, with a satisfactory grin, closed the notebook. Tommorow was going to be special. She could feel it in her veins; however, she didn't know what that would mean for her and Niles.


	14. Unspoken Confessions

**A/N: Thank you to all those who have reviewed and have loyally kept up with this story. I know you have waited for a long time for an update, but this chapter has been rather difficult to write. I hope you enjoy it, and I appreciate all the support you have given me.**

CC walked into the room where her group therapy sessions were held. Her hair was tied in a messy blonde hair, and a composistion notebook was tucked under her arm. She seemed as prepared to face Niles as she was with a future investor. She took a seat in the empty blue plastic chair beside Niles's red chair. She put the composistion notebook in her lap and gave a weak smile.

"Hello CC," Dr. Bort said warmly, "are you ready for today's session? I know this process can be difficult."

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied leaning back in her chair.

"Okay, you two are going to pull out your lists and take turns reading it to each other," Dr. Bort instructed. "Niles, you go first." Niles took out the folded white paper from the pocket of his jacket. Fumbling, he unfolded the paper as CC opened the notebook.

Niles took a deep breath as he stared at the printed words on the paper. Suddenly, he felt as if there wasn't enough said about CC Babcock or the compliments weren't deep and heartfelt enough. "Babs," he said meeting her deep blue eyes, "I admire your unrelenting determination." He noticed a small smile play on her lips, and he relaxed.

"Yeah, I guess you can be smart, and caring, and kind of funny," the blonde woman responded with a smirk playing on her lips.

Dr. Bort noticed how general the first compliments were. As her pen glided across the blue lines of the yellow paper, she wonder if the patient and the butler had tremendous difficulty finding positive qualities in the other person; however, she felt they were just testing the waters. The therapist crossed her legs and sat straighter in her bright yellow colored chair. Her beak shaped nose, uncommonly, distant from her notepad; although, her eyes were locked onto the two people in front of her. "Niles, it's your turn," Dr. Bort said quietly.

Niles released a soft sigh as he nervously played with the paper in his hands. Although he was prepared to read some of his list, he wondered what he shouldn't say in front of Dr. Bort. "You are as strong as an Amazonian woman," he said looking at CC, who was silently laughing at the unstated "which makes sense since you were raised by wolves." A warm smile crossed his features as if he knew he was destined to make her laugh and bite her lip to prevent an overwhelming smile from gracing her features.

"Charming," CC mumbled under her breath. Refusing to make eye contact with Niles or Dr. Bort, she prayed neither of them heard her.

"What did you say?" Dr. Bort asked raising her large head.

"He can be charming when he wants," she replied with a bit more confidence. She glanced at the man sitting beside her. She knew he could be a perfect gentlemen like the night he escorted her to an awards banquet. Every woman looked upon the man in tuxedo and wondered who he was. Not even the men, born into wealth and luxury, were as chilvarious as he. This was only proven when he ripped up the check and said "this one's on me."

The two went through the majority of their lists. Each compliment seemed to surprise the other. Niles felt as if the love he had for CC was requited. He could read his words with such bravado that he felt the words were as natural as the flowers blooming in the spring. He watched the woman sitting beside him and tried to determine her individual reaction and corresponding emotions to his words. When he said she had a "brilliant mind", a smug grin formed on her lips. When he mentioned her moments of rare child-like innocence, she gracefully arched her eyebrow and glanced at the butler. A look of vexation was apparent in her eyes contrasting her normally calm, reserved features.

Oddly, neither of them read the last compliment on their list. They refused to acknowledge the scribbled writing even existed although they kept glancing at it. They seemed to be waiting for a more proper moment to reveal their hearts' innermost secrets; however, Dr. Bort was oblivious to this.

"So why do you think you have difficulty revealing how you feel to one another? Dr. Bort asked tapping her pen on her yellow notepad.

CC and Niles looked at one another. Neither of them had asked theirselves that question. CC ran her fingers through some hair that had escaped from the bun as she adjusted herself in the chair. "I guess I always thought, that leaving myself vulnerable, by opening up to him would never end well."

"How so?" inquired the therapist.

"He would find some way to use it against me," she replied.

"Niles," Dr. Bort said as she wrote down her patient's response on the yellow lined paper, "How do you feel about this?"

"I doubt we would've taken each other's feelings seriously. I doubt I could handle opening up to someone, specifically her, then being laughed at," he responded as his hand loosely dangled at his side. He secetly wished CC would take his hand in reassurance or he could hold hers if only for a moment.

"How do you feel like you can validate one another? Dr. Bort asked. Simultaneously, the duo shrugged. "Alright, let me rephrase that: how do you feel you could treat one another so you two could get along?"

"I guess he could use my first name instead of calling me a dog," CC said quietly.

Niles mouthed CC's first name as if discovering how her name tasted and the sound of her name emitting from his mouth. The corners of his mouth rose as if starting a ridiculously cheesey grin. He couldn't wait to start using her first name and savor the sound of her response. "What about you, Niles?" Dr. Bort asked, slicing through his thoughts.

"She could have a conversation with me about something other than her hatred for Miss Fine," he responded. Although unspoken, he wanted to know more about CC's daily life and emotions. After discovering how she truly felt, he wanted to be able to have an open and honest conversation like they did when they were friends. He could only learn so much by eavesdropping and watching her. Clearly, he had been mistaken before, and he was tired of being wrong about her.

"Alright, very good," Dr. Bort said as she finished writing the last word. "Next week, we'll talk about your behavior after CC's release from here. I will give you a few moments." She slipped the notepad into the binder and closed the black binder as if it was a large textbook. Rising from her seat like a mighty hawk, she left the room.

The pair, still in their seats, watched Dr. Bort walk over to the nurses' station. CC turned her attention to the man sitting at her right and asked, "Niles, did you leave anything off your list?"

"What do you mean?" he asked narrowing his eyebrows. He wondered how or if she knew he purposely he left the last part of the list during their therapy session.

"I might've not said that your still my best friend," she replied sheepishly.

"CC, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't think that needed to be psychoanalyzed," she replied coolly.

"Chas," Niles said noticing CC nervously bite her bottom lip. "I..." At that moment, he wanted to throw his arms around her and press his lips to hers. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and she was the most beautiful creature on Earth; however, all he said was, "I don't know what to say."

"Well, you are. I know that is incredibly pathetic since we're horrible to one another," she said.

"No, it's not. I think it's sweet," he admitted. He decided not to confess his love for her. He decided to wait until he knew what was meant to happen for them. Even though he knew what he felt for her, the timing was anything but right. Maybe, next time.


	15. Coming to Terms

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I'm so lucky to have such a great following. We only have two more chapters after this one. So please enjoy this chapter.**

The usually bright blue skies were a depressing shade of grey. Instead of little birds flitting outside CC's window, raindrops clinged to the glass. CC rubbed her head as she watched the rain fall. She closed her eyes as she heard a loud peircing cry from next door. All she wanted to do was storm over to the other room and slap the hysterical patient; however, she merely shook her head and muttered, "damn weather."

She heard three knocks on her door. "Come in," she called with a roll of her eyes. Three more louder knocks followed. "For the love of God, it's open!" she screamed. Dr. Bort and a tall male doctor, with eyes wide and mouths jammed shut, entered the room.

"Are you alright, CC?" the male doctor asked mildly concerned. He took off his horn rimmed glasses and placed them in the pocket of the chest on the white labcoat. He took a seat on the empty bed opposing the patient's as Dr. Bort sat on the edge of CC's bed.

"Just a headache," she muttered in response as she glanced at the wall behind her. She sat up in her bed as she wondered why Dr. Bort and the lead psychiatrist of the ward was here.

"CC, we'd like to talk to you about your departure from here. We'd like to have you ready to leave in a week," Dr. Bort said calmly. "Do you think you are ready for that?"

"Yes," she answered slowly as if wary she would give the wrong answer.

"What are you going to do to continue your treatment?" the male doctor asked adjusting the white collar of his labcoat. He ran a firm hand through his thick black hair as he watched the patient, wearing a t-shirt twice her size and sweatpants far too wide, adjust uncomfortably on her bed.

"Continue taking my medication and go to therapy sessions," she answered. She couldn't help wondering why her future was any of their business. She was a responsible adult; however, she knew the male doctor merely saw her as a patient. Through the three months that she had been there, she had begun to know all the patients and hospital staff. Most of them saw her as a human instead of a patient that needed Xanax and Prozac.

"Are there any skills you learned here that you plan to continue?" Dr. Bort asked.

"Different coping mechanisms and healthier eating habits," she answered. She planned to journal and excercise instead of turning to a bottle of Jack Daniels when she was angry or stressed. She planned to stick to her diet; however, she was going to be realistic. One day, Niles made a peanut butter chocolate cheesecake, and she would have a slice and drink a glass of wine.

She decided she would try to write in her journal at least three times a week. During the past months in the institution, she found journalling to be the most helpful. By writing down her fears, dreams, and thoughts, she was able to figure out what course of action was best to take.

"That's very good," the male doctor said getting off the bed, "Well, I will leave you to your session with Dr. Bort." He left the room leaving the two women alone.

"CC," Dr. Bort asked quietly as she opened her black binder and pulled out the yellow notepad, "Before we meet up with Niles, I'd like to ask you a few questions." CC nodded in understanding as she pulled her hair into a messy ponytail.

"What are your plans to handle Niles in the future?" the therapist asked. Her beady brown eyes noticed a flash of lightning in CC's deep blue eyes.

"Isn't that why we're having a meeting with him?" she responded in a near growl.

"Yes. However, I'd like to know how you are going to handle yourself."

"All he can do is make more jokes," CC answered with a small smirk, "and I'm strong enough to fight back. I'd like to think, despite the banter, we learned enough about one another that we could have progressed into a friendship without masking our personality." As her words began appearing on the yellow lined paper, she felt reassurance. She prayed that Niles wanted the same as her, but the ink on the paper was the only reassurance she had.

"That's very mature of you," Dr. Bort said, "but what if he reverts to name-calling and causing bodily harm?"

CC shrugged as the image of a young boy, pulling a small girl's ponytail and stealing her brown teady bear, came to mind. "Then I changed, and he didn't," she replied. With that remark, Dr. Bort and CC left the room and went to the patient recreation room where Niles was already waiting for them.

The blonde woman took her seat beside Niles on the couch as Dr. Bort pulled a red plastic chair, from the table in the corner, in front of the couch. She opened the black binder and pulled out the yellow binder.

"Alright, I'd like to talk to you about what will happen after CC is released," Dr. Bort said as she pulled the cap of the black pen. "Do either of you have any idea what you want to happen?"

Niles met CC's gaze. The curiousity danced in her blue eyes. He had a feeling that CC knew what she wanted. Unfortunately, what he wanted to say wasn't inappropriate to say in front of the therapist. "I was thinking," he started, "that CC and I should spend some time outside the Sheffield mansion and get to know one another better."

"That's a great idea," Dr. Bort said as she wrote down his answer. Her large pointed nose angled towards CC as if inquiring for her answer; however, the woman was deep in thought. Her mind focused on the idea that Niles wanted to spend time with her. She didn't know, however, if he wanted to be friends or something more. Her train of thought crashed when she heard Dr. Bort call her name.

"Huh?" she responded dumbly.

"What are your plans to improve your relationship with Niles?" Dr. Bort repeated.

"Oh," she said glancing at the man sitting beside her, "I was thinking I could help around him around the house. I want him to feel like he's equal to everyone else." Realizing what she said, she slapped her forehead and shook her head. Niles merely smirked. He admired her bluntness even if it was mildly insulting, but he knew her heart was in the right place.

"How are you going to treat one another?" Dr. Bort inquired.

"I can have an actual conversatio without calling her a 'dog' or a 'witch'," Niles responded with a smirk. CC nodded in approval knowing very well that he would call her "Babs" or her name.

"and what about you, CC?" Dr. Bort asked as the pen rapidly moved against the lined yellow paper. The blonde woman couldn't help wondering if their behavior was limited to what was written on the page. She couldn't imagine their behavior and their relationship being confined to mere words.

"Pretty much what Niles said," she responded.

Their therapy session ended quickly after that. Niles and CC were reccommended to start attending couples' therapy, but they were both relunctant. The therapist left and gave CC and Niles ten minutes to talk.

Niles knew he couldn't wait any longer to confess his love for CC Babcock. He felt as if he should have told her when he woke up in the hospital after his heart attack. Now they had a behavioral plan, and she would be furious for waiting after everything was supposed to be settled.

"So are you ready to get out of here?" Niles asked with a warm smile.

"I guess I don't know what's going to happen apart from 'maintaining my mental health'," she replied using air quotes.

"Are you scared things will change?"

"Rather things are staying the same," she replied.

Sensing that the lady beside him needed reassurance, he took her hand in his. "Things are incredibly different now. You don't have anything to worry about."

CC asked perplexed, "What are you talking about?"

"CC, I really care about..."

"Obviously, or you wouldn't be here," CC interrupted with a small smile.

Niles slightly shook his head with a smile on his face. "No, I meant that I love you," he said calmly. He studied CC's face. He couldn't tell what she was feeling ir what she felt about him. Her silence was frightening to him. "Please say something," he muttered after a few moments.

"I don't know what you want me to say," she responded quietly. The softness in her tone contrasted the thoughts violently reeling through her head. She knew exactly how she felt about Niles despite their tumultous past. She had come to terms that she had strong feelings for Niles, but she hadn't even been released from the institution yet. Something about leaping into a relationship seemed wrong.

"I need some time to think," she said almost apologetically standing up. "I will talk to you about this next week." She left the room leaving Niles wondering what CC was going to decide.


	16. Evening Thoughts

**A/N: Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers. I am glad you all are enjoying the story, and I can not wait to finish it for you. I hope you enjoy this chapter despite the length. Thank you again.**

Niles mindlessly stirred the amber liquid in his pine green colored coffee mug. He watched the reflection in the metal spoon change as it danced around in the liquid. He released a heavy sigh as he thought about CC Babcock. If she acknowledged his feelings, she never responded in a similiar manner; therefore, he dreaded what seemed to be an inevitable rejection. Although, he desperately desired an answer as he stirred the honey into his tea, he could live with the fantasy a bit longer.

He took a sip of his freshly brewed tea and released a soft "mmm" as Maxwell Sheffield wandered into the kitchen. Niles's employer was adorned in a royal blue robe over his red and white striped flannel pajamas. He noticed his despondent old friend mindlessly sipping his tea in the dead of night. "Niles, old man, whatever is the matter with you?" Maxwell asked as he took a seat by the butler.

"It's nothing, sir," Niles answered unsure if he should confide in CC's business partner.

Just as Maxwell was about to return to his warm king-sized bed, Niles released a small whimper and pouted. He remained seated and said more reassuringly, "Niles, you can tell me. What is troubling you?" NIles explained how he discovered his true feelings for CC Babcock through therapy. He confessed that he confessed his love for her, and she claimed she needed time to think.

"Well, what do you think?" NIles asked.

Maxwell stroked his chin. As much as he cared about his trusty butler and caustically honest business partner, he wasn't sure if he was the right person to give them relationship advice. For heaven's sake, it took him five years to confess his love to Fran Fine, and he would never hear the end of that. When he thought of his fiance, he remembered something she said. "You know, Fran told me once that after your heart attack, CC was more willing to make things work between you, but you weren't ready for that change. Although things have progressed, maybe she isn't ready for that change."

Niles nodded as he wondered how Maxwell Sheffield had developed that conclusion. He couldn't help wondering why Maxwell was even awake to give such helpful advice. "Thank you, sir. I'm surprised you are awake to give such help."

"Oh, it's nothing. I just have to wait."

"For what, sir?"

"For Fran to quit talking in her sleep," he replied sheepishly. A chuckle escaped Niles's lips. His imagination drifted from Fran sleep-talking to a vision of a sleeping blonde-hair beauty. Her hair would fall loosely over her face. She would be wearing one of his old t-shirts and his arms would be tightly wrapped around her waist. He could only hope, one day, he would have the same type of relationship that Maxwell and Fran shared without the sleep-talking.

* * *

><p>CC nervously paced around her room as Niles's words echoed, seemingly, throughout the room. He loved her, and she loved him; however, she wasn't sure how to handle the situation. She flopped onto her bed and released a groan of anguish. She grabbed the composition notebook and pen, off the beside table, with her right hand.<p>

She sat up and placed the notebook in her lap as if she knew the answers would appear as soon as she started writing. She took a deep breath as she searched for an empty page in the notebook. Much to her surprise, most of her notebook was filled with odd rants and strange dreams. As soon as she found a blank page, she ripped off the cap of the pen and threw it on the floor.

_I'm so lost. I could have what I always wanted, but a certain instabilty keeps me at a distance. He said that he loved me, but my father loved my mother. Still, their relationship failed. If I am going to have a relationship with Niles, it could destroy me if it failed._

_I mean I haven't been released from this damn asylum yet. I don't know how he will act after I am released. Whether or not he keeps his word is beyond my control, and I don't want to be dissappointed. Besides we haven't even explored our friendship, so jumping into a relationship seems absoloutely ridiculous._

_However, I have known him for so long. We have been through so much together that I would love to have more. He's still my best friend, and the only person that has stayed by my side through this whole ordeal. I can honestly say he is becoming a better person._

_Honestly, I owe him the truth. I know it is difficult to lay your heart on the line, and it's something I'm not brave enough to do. I think I know what I need to do, and it won't be easy._

She closed the noteboook and placed it on the bedside table. She released a heavy sigh and buried her head in her hands. "Oh CC, things are always so difficult," she said to herself and shook her head.


	17. Ordinary Drive Home

**A/N: Thank you for all those who have read and replied. Now, this is the last chapter so I hope you all enjoy it. I may write another fanfiction covering season six and the last part of seasoon five, but I'm not sure. **

CC placed the navy blue duffel bag, with the initials "N**.**A.B" near the zipper, on her bed. Her clothes were all neatly folded in two piles on the edge of her bed. She,without looking away from Niles's initials, gently placed the clothes in the bag. She wasn't sure what was going to happen when she saw Niles. She took a deep breath to calm herself. She pulled up the zipper before leaving her room for the final time.

The peppy brunette nurse, adorned in her usual bubblegum pink scrubs, met CC outside her room. "Hi CC, are you ready for your big day?" the nurse chirped happily as she accompanied CC down the hall. After three months in the mental hospital, the nurse and CC had become rather good friends, and the nurse's high pitched voice had become less grating to the former patient's ears.

"I guess so," she replied with a slight chuckle.

When they arrived at the lobby, CC's eyes landed on the man with dazzling pale blue eyes and golden hair. A small grin formed on her features as she nervously straightened her posture. They slowly approached one another. Niles contemplated giving her a kiss on the cheek or her forehead but refrained. "Are you ready to return to your cave?" he joked with a soft smile.

She slightly shook her head and laughed as she placed her hands on her hips. "Oh good, we can take your broom," she said warmly as she nudged him. Without thinking about ut, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Realizing what she did, she pulled away and walked to the nurses's station.

"What do I need to sign so I can leave?" CC asked. As she began scribbling her name across the black lines on each of the pages, he smiled. He smiled as he recalled CC hugging him, and he was warmed by hope and dreams. He couldn't help fantasizing about their upcoming conversation. So far, things were looked favorably for him. Perhaps, she wanted to be with him, but he wasn't sure. After CC finished signing the paperwork, she looked at Niles and said, "Let's go."

"Yes," he replied with a mild surprise. When they walked through the automatic sliding glass doors, CC was surprised to find how perfect the weather was. A slight breeze made the green grass dance. Two birds flew around the branches of a tall tree in front of the hospital. The blue sky was painted with white clouds. They walked on the sidewalk until they arrived at the car. Niles opened the passenger side door for CC, and she slid into the seat with such ease that Niles couldn't help admiring her possible grace.

Niles turned on the radio when he got into the car. He was terrified of the awkward silence that he was sure that was bound to occur. As he backed out of the parking spot, Jack Johnson's voice played softly on the radio. As the song gently played, he thought about their relationship. Despite their turbulent past, they were only ordinary people. They were fragile despite any facade. They had the emotional connection for a relationship; however, he realized they needed to take it slow.

After the song ended, CC moved her gaze from outside the car window to the man sitting in the driver's seat of the car. She ran a hand through her hair and pressed the back of her head on the window. She ran a hand through her hair as she began to think of any easy way to begin the conversation, but it needed to be done.

"Niles," she said softly.

"Yes," he responded carefully.

She closed her eyes as she pondered what she was going to say. "I really care about you," she admitted,"but I...we can't, shouldn't, be together."

Niles grimaced and nodded as he pondered the reasons why CC didn't want to be with him. Even though they had walked through hell together and spent the last three months together, he wondered if she hadn't forgiven him for the past. "Why?" he,unwilling to conjur any other reasons, asked calmly. He refused to get angry at her and kept his eyes on the road.

"If you hadn't noticed, I just was released from the crazy house, and the Sheffield house is anything but a controlled environment. I don't want to leap into a relationship and have it explode in our faces," she replied with a slight laugh. "I just don't think it's the right time...for us."

"I guess I understand," he said reasonably, "so have I melted your heart, ice princess?"

"You know I love you, dustbuster," she replied as a playful smirk crossed his features. "God, I've missed this."

"Me too. Acting normally is unbeliavably difficult especially for me," he replied proud that he didn't say "us." He was surprised when CC laughed, rested his head on her shoulder, and muttered something under her breath. Niles smiled as he came to the realization: one day, she would be his to hold. They would be closer than ever, but he would have to prove his worth, his loyalty, and his friendship to have her in his future.

"One day," he thought aloud. CC mouthed the same words as she looked at the brilliant blue sky with painted white pillowing clouds. Never before had she made a better decision, and it would pay off in an not-so-distant future.


End file.
